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R2D23 Love protects

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Dare 23 - love always protects.  It is interesting that this dare fell today in light of my Bible study last night.  Our study leader said that there are two sides to God's love, nurture and protection.  The nurturing side includes His compassion, mercy, grace, and comfort.  The protection side includes His justice and wrath.  His wrath against sin, both ours and that of others, is intended to protect us.  This journey has opened my eyes to the fact that God allowed this season to occur in my marriage because I was in danger of addiction.  I was headed down a slippery slope with something, and it could have gotten out of hand.  No one but God even knew.  God allowed this to happen in order to protect me.  To open my eyes to what was really going on in my life and my relationship with Him.  Thank God, praise God for this revelation.  Just as God's love is protective of me, my love should be protective towards my relationship with DH.  

 

At my counseling appointment today, my counselor and I talked about how I can't be myself around DH and that I don't feel free to love him openly and honestly, to do the little things that I would naturally do to express affection, like a pat on the back or a kiss on the cheek.  We talked a little about this last week.  My counselor thinks I should overcome the fear that Satan has thrown my way and try, and she suggested that I tell him that I would like his permission for something if he can give it to me, and proceed to explain that I love him, and that I haven't felt free to be me, to love him like "me" would love him, to show him affection in ways that just come natural to me.  And to ask if it would be ok if I was just "me", that I don't want to do anything that he's not comfortable with or wouldn't want me to do.  She has been praying alongside me, and feels that I need to have this conversation.  It will be difficult, but I have a peace about it, and feel she is right.  I am going to continue to pray about it, and ask God to open my eyes and my heart to know His timing.

  • Be cautious.  Doing more than a dare a day is often doing too much and getting in their space or trying to pull them to where we want them to be, and they often aren't ready to be where we want them to be.

    Be the best you you can be, even when he is cold or distant.  It can be tough, but he does need to see you relaxed and yourself even if you can not show affection.  The more natural you are, even if not pats or kisses occur, the more believable the changes you are making will feel reel to him.

  • The being able to show you love him are addressed in the dares.  Dare 32, the dare to greet our spouse...., the dare that includes telling them you love them, and probably other dares as well.

    Be cautious, we often want to hug or kiss or give our spouse some physical affection for our benefit, to find comfort in being close to our spouse, and also possibly to get some kind of positive feedback from our spouse such as them accepting a quick kiss or giving us a hug back.

    All these things are good.  But really pray about if it is the right time.  It's been said for years on this site, more than a dare a day can get in their space.  

  • I'm certainly no councilor or trying to take anything away from yours, but feel the need to express the thoughts that come to me.  

  • Tim makes a good point, but I also think, though this is the Love Dare site, it's not the final word.  God can actually move us in a direction that may seem contrary to a days dare.  God can speak through a counselor just as well as He can speak through the Love Dares.  Pray, but I'm betting if you feel a peace about what you've been counseled in, God is the author of peace.  If you do this and your spouse doesn't respond like you think he should, that doesn't mean it wasn't something God wanted you to do.  Do it with an attitude of obedience and God will honor that even if it wasn't from Him.  You would be doing it with the intent that you believe it is from God.  Does this even make any sense?  lol

  • Tim, thank you for your words of caution.  Linda, what you said makes perfect sense.  I am praying about it.  I know that God will lead me in the right direction as long as I am simply obedient to what he has asked me to do.  And He has asked me to do much during this journey - things that I could only have done with Him and through Him.   Most days I have been able to complete the dares.  A couple of days I wasn't.  I really have no expectation of what my DH's response will be.  And I realize that's the way God wants it.

  • Determined, I will pray for you too.

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