Collaborate without boundaries

R2D22. Why can't I do it??

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For two days I have tried to say "I love you" to DH, and I can't get the words to come out of my mouth.  I was able to say it to him during round 1, and I can write it to him, but I haven't been able to say it to him.  I didn't want to wimp out and text or write it, and I know I need to say it, and I know God wants me to say it, but every time I think about saying it, I feel like crying and my eyes fill up with tears.  I am very tired.  I have battled a mild migraine all day, which hasn't helped matters any.  Tonight in the Tuesday night Bible study that I attend, there was a statement in our lesson material that said God was so much greater than our imagination and our life span.  I am clinging to that statement tonight.  I cannot imagine how things will ever be good again between me and DH and I have felt that way for a couple of days.  It's like I feel a loss again.  I felt a tremendous loss when DH told me that he wants a divorce, and I am not sure why, but I feel a sense of loss again.  Rather than believing the best, I think I am believing that nothing will improve, and I am grieving the perceived loss.  

In the past, DH has always cleaned up the dinner dishes for me while I go to Bible study.  Tonight when I got home, the dishes were still in the sink.  It wasn't much.  I made salads for dinner - it was 3 bowls, 2 forks, a knife and a cutting board!  As I walked into the kitchen, he yelled in there that he hadn't had a chance to do the dishes.  I guess he was too busy sitting in his recliner with the dog for the past 2 hours!!  It hurt my feelings, but I didn't say anything.  I just rinsed everything off and loaded the dishwasher.  But soon after the mess was cleaned up, he was able to make it to the kitchen to fix himself a snack.  I know that I really shouldn't complain - I have much to be thankful for.  But sometimes it gets old that I have so very little help around the house. It might help if he just was appreciative of what all I do.  Sorry for the negativity tonight.  My head is killing me and I just feel like crying.

  • So, you couldn't  do the dare....make sure you are still moving on to the next day's dare.  A dare a day....

    Do not worry about if the marriage will be fixed.  Nothing is to difficult for God.  He is laying the groundwork for the marriage to reconcile.  but if your husband uses his free will not to reconcile, God has already layed the groundwork for a beautiful future for you  Just trust in His divine providence  for you.  

    As far as helping, doing the dishes, have no expectations.  

  • Lead your heart.  when you are tired or not feeling good, it is easy to allow the flesh to follow your emotions.  And emotions  guide us off this journey so often.  Emotions have us thinking of  every scenario that  does not conform to God's will in our marriage.  

    Be still, and relax knowing God is covering everyone of your needs.  

  • What a difference a good night's sleep can make!  I wasn't able to concentrate well enough last night to immerse myself in God's word due to my headache.  This morning, however, my devotional material was exactly what I needed.  God amazes me with how He works stuff like that out.  The material read "when your energy fails you, do not look inward and lament the lack you find there. Look to Me and My sufficiency".  Psalm 27:13-14 was also in the material this morning: " I am certain that I will see the Lord's goodness in the land of the living. Wait for the Lord; be strong and courageous. Wait for the Lord."  

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