Collaborate without boundaries

Why do I second guess myself constantly??!!!

  • Comments 6

I hope that I just did the right thing.  My husband mentioned to me before he left for work this morning that his company has reinstated the company picnic. Up until last year, the company had always done a picnic at a local amusement park. They provided lunch and tickets to the park for free for anyone living in your household, and $10 per person for anyone else that you wanted to bring. Last year due to budget constraints, they did not do a picnic. He told me this morning that the company will still pay for anyone living in your household, but it's now $28 per person for anyone else that you want to bring. My husband had always brought his daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren, and it only cost him $40. Now, it will cost him $112 to bring them. He made a comment that he might just get the two free tickets for his household, and pay for two more tickets, and give them to his daughter and her family.   At first, I felt like maybe he just didn't want me to go, and so this was his solution. But, I remembered that love believes the best, and so I decided that I would not think this way. Instead, I sent him a text that simply said, "I have been thinking about the picnic. It is a lot of money, especially since your employer used to cover the majority of it. What about if you paid half and I paid half? That way everyone could go and it wouldn't be so expensive on one person. I would love to do that for you and (daughter's name)."  I hope that this was ok.  I don't want to insult my DH in any way or imply he's too cheap with his money or anything like that - just saw it as an opportunity to believe the best and invest my money where my heart is (dares 3 and 7).

  • That is very kind of you! I hope it works out!

  • Well, my DH never responded to the text and didn't say anything when I got home.  Who knows???

  • I'm sure you did this in the right motive.  Not so that you could find a way to be with him at the amusement park.  

    To me, you showed unity with him.  You did what the dares taught.  It came natural as things should as the dares mold you.

    The only concern I would think of is it to much and getting in his space.  I don't know, so that would be the only thing if I were you I would consider.  

  • yep the no response thing from them, gotta just shake your head at our goofball spouses.  

    This is typically what I do in this situation.  Not saying it is right or wrong or something you should do....But. her goes.....

    For example.....She went to the doctor today.  She had prescriptions to pick up but says she ran out of time.  I offered to pick them up and she knew i was driving right by to pick up kids.  She didn't respond.  so, i said if you run out of time or would like me to pick them up, let me know.  (hindsight, I didn't think of ti then, I should have told her i would just pick them up.)  This way i offered, and leave it up to her to take  me up on the help.  and this way I don't push by keep asking and thus get in her space.  HOpe that made sense a little.  In other words, maybe just mention the offer is still there and let you know.  If he still does not reply, then let it be.  My suggestion anyway.  

  • I really did think about my motive before I made the offer.  Of course, I  would like to go with them.  But I am willing to help pay for the extra tickets and stay home if that's what DH prefers, no questions asked.  In fact, I will tell him that if he takes me up on the offer.

    I am not sure why our spouses are so hesitant to accept any help from us.  I think in my DH's case,  it makes him feel guilty when I do nice things to help him.  

  • That's great you thought about what the motivation was.  Yes, guilt.  And their desire to show they don't need us and to keep space and to show they aren't letting there wall down further.  And to justify there actions.  

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