Collaborate without boundaries

R2D11 I tried.....

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My attempt at the dare today was pretty lame!  The dare for day 11 differs between what is online and what is in the book, even though they are both about cherishing our spouses.  The book suggests giving your spouse a touch that says you cherish them, and online it said to try and meet a need that your spouse may have.  Well, since we aren't touching, I opted to try and meet a need today.  I couldn't come up with anything, and finally called DH on my way home from work and told him I was going to stop by the grocery store on the way home, and asked if there was anything that he needed that I could pick up for him.  He couldn't come up with anything.  So at dinner, I told him that I was taking some dry cleaning to the cleaners tomorrow morning, and volunteered to take his shirts for him.  I hope that counts as completing the dare.  I just couldn't come up with anything great today.

I am beginning to wonder if DH may have changed his mind about pursuing divorce.  Not because things are a ton better between us, because they really aren't, but simply because I really expected to be served papers by now.  I am wondering if I will ever know.  I wonder if there will ever be a right time to ask if we are going to stay married.  We don't ever talk about anything personal and I wonder if we ever will again.  I wonder how things can ever get better if we don't ever talk about anything ever again.  I know God knows the answers to all my questions and is control, and that my role is to be obedient through love and patience, that I have been called to love him until the end, whenever and whatever that may be.  But sometimes I wonder......
  • I completely understand the no touching thing going on.  But, could you have just patted him on the back or simply just dragged your hand across his back as you passed by him?  

    I kind of wondered about if the  book had gone through new editions.  

  • Some  of your questions pop up in my mind too.  The  only way I really ever know how to reply to  journals is what I have learned by reading others replies in the past.  And I have or don't recall ever reading anyone completely addressing those questions.  

    But for now and for some time, I would say to Be still and just know  He is God and leave it all in His control.  Your husband isn't ready for  these questions.  He is still struggling with the conviction he feels.  So, pray he does feel it, knows what it is he is feeling, and has the wisdom to understand how to react to Christ's convictions.

  • Right now, those questions we want to ask are for our comfort.  Right now, just seek all comfort in Christ, no matter the  cirmcumstances.  even in the best marriage, our spouse will disappoint.  So, leave the control in Christ's corner and be subject to Him working in your  husband, while you obediently do the dares for Christ.  That  will more fully open the door for Jesus to work in him.

  • As far as changing his mind, well, I bet he changes his mind  20 times  an hour.  He is so fooled by the  world's ways, his flesh, and evil he can't really remember what he wanted to do even earlier in the day.  It is amazing how they really do forget what they said or even what they thought I am sure.  

    All's he knows is whatever he throws at you in a mean spirited way is  being met by the light of Christ.  Even if he does not know he is fighting against Christ in you, it is building turmoil in him.  and the only way out is when his will starts matching up to Christ's will.  so, also pray that  God's will is done in his life.  

    If he really thinks about it, he knows a d would be a mistake and not bring him the happiness he desires.

  • I would say don't ask.  If he hasn't filed and you ask, it could push him to do so.  Just do the dares and trust God to work in your marriage.  I know it's hard not to know something, but I also know sometimes not knowing is best.  And as Tim reminds us, what we fear more than likely is not even a tangible.  

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