Collaborate without boundaries

Day 30 Unity is very hard right now

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I think today's dare has been the most difficult for me so far.  I have been trying to figure out what has divided us.....what has destroyed our unity.  I have asked God to open my eyes to what has served to cause such division.  We have absolutely no unity at this point in our marriage.  DH has told me that he doesn't want to do anything or go anywhere with me.  He only really talks to me if I ask him a direct question.  He says that he wants a divorce because we are not compatible and that we don't like the same things.  I think the bottom line is our difference in spiritual maturity.  My husband and I met in Sunday School class many years ago.  But it has been a very, very long time since he has gone to church.  My DH says that he has accepted Christ as Savior, but he doesn't attend church with me, nor do we pray together.  I believe that he became a Christian so that he would avoid hell, and has never matured past that point.  

I also believe that my own sin served to divide us.  I entered into this marriage with an attitude of pride, and controlling behavior.  These were not intentional, but they were there.  And they were ugly, and they were sinful.  I have confessed and asked for forgiveness from both God and DH during the course of this LD journey.  I have made great strides in correcting those behaviors and attitudes through the work that God is doing in me.  
My DH has never been a strong communicator, and that has also served to divide us.  Rather than let me know he was unhappy about some things so that I could work to improve them, he just let things build.  That's why the announcement that he wants a divorce came out of the clear blue for me.  I had no idea anything was wrong.  We had never even had an argument leading up to it.
I am praying for a couple of things with regards to this dare.  First, that DH will see the glory of God, and that the Holy Spirit will prepare his heart for the work God desires to do in his life.  Second, I am praying that DH will hear and believe the truth of God over the lies of Satan.  Finally, I am praying that somehow, someway, God will allow the lines of communication to be established/restored.  I wish that I could have a conversation with DH about the things that divide us, I would like to hear what he thinks divides us.  I think he would just say the same old thing - that we just aren't compatible and don't have anything in common.  I honestly don't know how to start the conversation since he doesn't really talk to me right now.
  • Just attempt the dare, and if he goes to saying the same old things, then let the Holy Spirit use that to work in him.  Just by you attempting the dares the best you can opens the door a little more for Christ to work in him.  

    It is funny, all our  spouses think they have come up with words of wisdom when they give us the reasons why they want a d.  Yet, the words they come up with are the same words most of our spouses use.  We aren't compatible, we don't like the same things, I fell out of love, etc.  Just a bunch of words they attempted to throw together to justify their actions.  so, do not give weight to his words or reasonings of wanting a d.

  • If/when he chooses to use his free will to meet up with God's will.....and when/if he chooses to work on his spiritual maturity, it will be a time you need to be even more patient than you are now.  You will want to pull him up to where you are at in your walk.  but he will need time to reach that point.  Read Sean's journals, from oldest to newest.  But he has a journal just on this, something about pulling  the spouses car up to yours.  

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