Collaborate without boundaries

Finding More Kindness

  • Comments 3

It took a while to get to Day 2. I had to think about what I could do as an act of kindness, because I already do a lot. I work from 8 to 4, I get the kids up, dressed and lunch packed, and carry them to school, on days I don't work. If I work I get them up and have their lunch packed. I do the grocery shopping, cook dinner, and clean the kitchen everyday. Outside yard work I take care of as well as straighten up the house, vacuum, and wash my own clothes and put them away. She doesn't like me doing her clothes or the kids. So I was scratching my head as to what to do. I often make it a point to get her a special tea, wine or even fruit or something that I think she would like. When I got home she said thank you for getting a certain tea, so I chalked that up to my act of kindness. 

  • I would still encourage you not to revert back to the beginning of the dares.  When doing so much, do you get the sense she feels unneeded by the family?  

  • Unneeded? I was bed ridden for a month, and everything just piled up. Not like she was bitting at the bit to do anything. She cooked for the kids and I, but that was about it. I always heard her complaining about being tired or hurting. Don't revert to the beginning of the dares? I'm not following you, what do you mean.

  • Ok, it is necessary to do it all.  I understand that.  I had to do the same for months.  At one point this community pointed out to me that I may be making her feel unneeded.  I didn't think so, but a little later, she said I do it all, she said she wasn't needed by the family.  Even though she didn't want to do any of the work or chores.  Others have also said there wives felt the same.

    But, if she isn't doing anything, then, yes, it becomes a necessity if she is unwilling.

    I would consider not going back to day one and starting over.  I would continue where you had been in the dares.  They are in order for a reason.  There is purpose for that.  

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