Collaborate without boundaries

Day 9

  • Comments 8

When I read this dare, I was hesitant at first because I wasn't sure how to greet him. 

When I got off of work, I was originally going to get my hair cut....but then I re-read the dare, and then read it again. 

I stopped at the store on my way home and messaged my friend to see if he was home or not. She said he wasn't home when she got back from work so I wasn't sure what to think exactly. I was deeply saddened by this as well as he didn't respond to any of my messages all day. I had only sent one or two in regards to our trip this weekend. 

I picked up a bouquet of flowers as I have never brought flowers home during our 2 year relationship, and I picked up sushi for dinner for the two of us to eat at the dinner table. 

I was all excited to surprise him and make him smile too. 

When I got home, he wasn't there still. 

I noticed the grounds keepers redid the mulch out front, so I placed our planters back in a different order than what he had them before and made it look nice again for him so he wouldn't have to do it. I went inside and put the flowers in a vase and set them on the dinner table, cleaned the litter box, cleaned out the fridge and took out the trash. I placed the sushi in the fridge because I didn't want to eat without him and I was also not wanting to be late for service. 

He text me when I was almost to church with the weather information for this weekend in Jersey and apologized for not responding sooner as he didn't hear his phone. I wasn't sure if I should believe it or not. I didn't respond because I was driving. 

He got home about 10 minutes after I left for service. Service was titled "Bury Me," which turned out to be a kick to my chest as I realized how badly we had been treating each other. There was a specific part that grabbed my heart and soul immediately. When you look at the story of the seeds being dropped in the rocks, in weeds, and then in the good fertile soil, you can see the different harvests you sow at the end. Our seed wasn't planted in the right soil from the beginning, and we needed to bury the hatchet and realize we needed to place our seed in fertile soil and give it the watering it needs to grow into a beautiful bountiful harvest. 

  • My second half to this didn't post because the site timed out, which has been happening the past 2 days when I'm typing. I can't always remember what I type to post. :(

  • I would say no longer text your friend to see if he's home.  consider it a form of snooping.  And somehow he may find out, and this will make him feel like you are always in his space.

    a lot of people type their entries in a word doc and then copy and paste to this site so it doesn't time out.  

    Did you have time to text  him back when you got in the church parking lot?  Even to say service started, will respond when done.  Think of how you felt when he didn't respond.  Dont let him feel ignored as you felt.  

  • IF this is the dare for greeting, and I may be wrong, did you do more than a dare a day by buying him a gift of flowers and sushi?  

    Love believes the best, That he did spend time at his male friend's house and alsothat he didn't get your texts.   Speaking of the texts, did you need to text him instead of waiting to see him?  Often we send texts as a way of seeing if they will respond and trying to gain comfort.  And sending the extra texts is often getting in there space.  

  • No, I didn't have time cause service had already started and I didn't want to have my phone out during it. I got there just in time to get in the door and take my seat before the singing and praise choir started.

    Okay, I will do my best not to ask if he's home or not then.

    And typing in a Word doc is a great idea! I will have to try that later so I can post the second half.

  • I did one dare a day, no more no less. I just haven't been posting daily as our company is down 4 people and we're all picking up slack.

    I wanted to do something thoughtful to greet him and express how my heart feels. If that makes sense?

    I was trying to plan out our trip for packing and asked him about the weather since I don't know what hours his dad works and he was off yesterday. I thought that since I had booked our flights and did all of that stuff that he would be able to check the weather, so it wouldn't appear as I was controlling the entire trip for us.

  • Don't take what I say as negative criticism.  I just want to cover everything and it is sometimes hard to really understand what's going on when reading a few paragraphs.  I know I am probably over-reacting in many replies.  

    keep journaling.  

  • Don't expect him to be home. Don't expect anything. Expectations lead to disappointment. No one in the world will ever behave as you expect them to.

    Don't buy things right now. He will look at them as desperate ways of buying his love. I did the same thing for my wife and it only made her more angry with me and I wasted a lot of money. Don't do anything out of the ordinary right now.

    Whether you believe him or not doesn't change anything. Just take what he said at that. Keep being kind to him.

    As you start to pay attention to the church services you will see that they apply to you. Always have but for some reason we just never thought we would be in this situation. We all treat each other much worse than what we should. Learn from these and become a better person.

  • When we talked last night he said he felt lonely when he came home and saw the flowers and sushi in the fridge. He knew I was making an effort and he appreciated it. He said he sat on the couch until I came home from church and felt empty, sad, and lonely. He said he felt heartbroken for what he did, but also that he doesn't want to put himself through that heartache again. I told him we have no way of knowing how the relationship would turn out if we did try again and actually meant it. I told him that as long as we confront our conflict and address it right away without getting angry at each other then we would be able to make it through whatever came our way. He's not ready. I don't know if he ever will be ready, but he said he still feels for me but he falls so quickly in and out of love with me that he doesn't know how he feels. He just doesn't want to feel pain again. I told him that the person he has standing in front of him now, is the person I always have been when he didn't shut me down or shut me out because of his feelings. He said time has a way of healing many things, not all things, but many things. I don't know what to say other than he wants time and space and doesn't want to keep talking about our relationship but he also doesn't want to feel guilt if he wants to date someone else either. I don't want to give him time, but I know he needs time. Maybe time will heal our relationship and make us stronger, but I odn't know.

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