Collaborate without boundaries

Day 4 - Broken

  • Comments 2

When I did the 4th dare, it was while he was at work. I asked him how work was going and if there was anything he needed me to do for him before he got home. His reply was, "Stop doing things for me, thanks."

We then got in to the reasons why he decided to break up with me, and all of them were more hurtful than the next one. I didn't believe them, and now I don't know if I should. He said things like, I don't want help because I don't want to be around you. I tolerate you because I don't hate you. I just don't love you. What can I say? I lost it and I feel ok about it. I don't feel an unconditional love towards you and I thought I would like you as you are and I come to know that now I don't and that's not what I want in life. I don't want to be with someone with the same problems. I'm just over everything. I don't enjoy things with you and I'm sorry I wasted your time. I don't feel that way towards you anymore (when I mentioned I was the same girl he locked eyes with when we worked at the same place and knew we were mean to be). It doesn't matter if you try because you just aren't my type in the end. He said he was with me for so long for fear of being alone and that he's ok with that now. He felt like I was never there for him. 

I'm afraid of continuing the dares and pushing him away even more than he already has pulled away. 

I'm keeping the apartment clean and I'm being nice. I'm not being mean to him and I'm not causing any arguments. 


  • I can't imagine he actually means any of that. His pride and anger have taken him over. It sounds like he really does need some space. There's not a lot you can do right now.

    I don't know what to say. Continuing the dares can't hurt anything. Just do them exactly as they say and nothing more if you do. I continued up until my wife got a restraining order on me and prevented me from doing them. I didn't lay a finger on her but she just got sick of me for some reason or another.

    That "space" they want so bad gives God time to work on them. And God works in His own time. It could be years.

  • Glad you came back to this part of the site.  You need to stop looking at him for reactions when you do the dares and do them for your journey with Christ.  That alone says to continue the dares.  consider quiting the dares as quitting your journey with Christ.  

    When you are afraid, and I am sure we all have been when doing the dares at times, realize fear is not of God.  When you do God's will or are within His will He offers peace.  So do the dares the best you can being you, without the fear the best you can.  

    I am sure, if you are like me at all, you are doing many things that will drive him away right now more so than doing the dares. Seek what those things are in prayer and quit doing those things vs quitting the dares.

    He won't remember a lot of what he says.  He is saying things to justify himself.  Let  the harshness go tot he foot of the cross.

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