Collaborate without boundaries

Love is Not Selfish

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Being that I completed Day 2's dare on Saturday, Day 3 has been completed today. I texted my wife, and asked how her day was going, and whether she needed anything for me to pick up since I'll be going in the field (home-visit's) in a little bit. She said that she needed some personal products which I purchased while on lunch. I have them for her and will supply them later today when we get home.

It's not an unusual thing because I do these things for her already, but with regards to the dare and reaching out to her during her day, the dare has been completed. It's been 8 months since she mentioned separation. She still mentioned that she wanted to separate last Monday but that stemmed from me asking her how she was feeling about us and where she stood. Again, I was pushing her for an answer, because it's been a while, but that's no excuse, and personally was me being impatient. I'm continuing to be quiet about our marriage, and only intend to love and serve her. At this point, I know she cannot question where my loyalties lie, and I only pray that God makes a way for our marriage to come out of this storm TOGETHER; more matured and seasoned in our faith, and love.

Last Monday (when I foolishly pushed for an answer) I asked whether she loved me, and she said that it wasn't the same. I personally feel that under the biblical definition of love, it is a choice and commitment to each other under the covenant of God, and cannot be defined by our emotions. I've been praying that God would protect my wife from demonic and carnal influences that trick us into thinking the grass is greener outside of our marriage covenant, because that's how she's been feeling.

God be with you guys.

  • Did you do a dare on Sunday?  Do your best to do a dare a day.

    Even though this dare was also completed when you bought the nail polish for her, do this dare as intended, without manipulating or changing it in any way.  I know it would have been repetitive, but trust God in how the dares are landing.

    You are right, love is a choice, and emotion is what can lead us to follow our flesh.

    She may be spending time and talking to you.  That's great.  But keep in mind, as you already know, her car is not up where your car is.  Continue to give her time to find her place in her journey with Christ.

    Keep leading your heart even though she is following hers.  She needs you to keep your testimony consistent.  

  • Did you do a dare on Sunday?  Do your best to do a dare a day.

    Even though this dare was also completed when you bought the nail polish for her, do this dare as intended, without manipulating or changing it in any way.  I know it would have been repetitive, but trust God in how the dares are landing.

    You are right, love is a choice, and emotion is what can lead us to follow our flesh.

    She may be spending time and talking to you.  That's great.  But keep in mind, as you already know, her car is not up where your car is.  Continue to give her time to find her place in her journey with Christ.

    Keep leading your heart even though she is following hers.  She needs you to keep your testimony consistent.  

  • Okay, so regarding this dare, yeah I did it yesterday (Monday). I did skip Sunday, but I will do as you recommended and do a dare a day.

    Last night, nothing was too crazy. I continued not speaking about us, and will maintain that. Cooked dinner while she was working out, and watched TV together afterward. I was reading the Word and the Love Dare book while we were sitting together watching TV.

    As you said from my Day 2 dare, I know she will continue to test me and observe my responses given I've been up and down emotionally with how she's been responding to me. I'm not going to entertain it and just write out my feelings in my journal to get out my anxiety.

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