Collaborate without boundaries

Love is kind.

  • Comments 3

Okay, so this dare was done this past Saturday. Since committing to not speaking about our marriage since this past Tuesday, I've only been giving her space, talking about every day things, and sticking to the dare's. I asked whether she wanted to come to the gym with me Saturday morning, and she did. Had a good time encouraging her to do what she thought she couldn't. After that, we did routine errands, and stopped at KMart. While there I bought her a shade of nail polish that I haven't seen her wear before (I don't think she has this color). I didn't say anything until she noticed it at the check-out counter. She asked whether it was mine, and I said, "Yeah"; jokingly of course. I just told her I had it in mind to buy for her because I didn't think she had that shade and it would look nice. She enjoyed it. Applied it to her toes in the afternoon.

One thing that I need to speak on was a text that a friend from our close Christian circle sent to both of us but was meant for my wife. He said that he had a dream about demonic oppression, and how other Christians in the dream weren't taking it as seriously as he was. He woke up and discerned it was about my wife, and explained how its as though the devil is laughing saying that she's taking everything he's giving her. He of course included that he never told me about it, and wanted the text to be about my wife's walk with Christ, and not about her love for me (which I appreciated). She read the whole thing and didn't text back. I know she was chewing on it for a while because she asked me when the last time I spoke to him was which I told her, "2 days ago." I had no idea about the dream, and didn't want her to think I had any influence because I didn't. At this point, only time will tell, but I know God has re-positioned my heart, because with letting go of anxiety/fear, and operating every day for the glory of God, my heart is at rest. I'm only praying that my wife doesn't give in to that secularized Christianity which uses verses to glorify self, and seek to do what's best for the flesh instead of obedience to God's glory. I know God can restore out marriage; it's only a matter of time. I know she can't question my loyalty to her and our marriage. Just going to continue to seek Christ. Again, I'm thankful to see that though my faith grew small, it has still remained throughout this entire trial. I'm thankful for what God is doing in me. God be with you all.

  • I know I can come across like I am pointing out wrongs.  That's not my intent.  but I feel I need to say what comes to me.  Always pray about what I or anyone here says in a reply before acting on it.

    in the first paragraph, you say you are giving her space and sticking to the dares.  That wording matches up with do a dare a day, no more no less.  

    but, you are doing a lot more than that. Asking her to shop, work out, talk, run errands, etc.  This can get in her space very easily, even if she is responding favorably right now.  I would say be cautious.  Especially if you see her pull back in the least.  

    but, if she is all in favor of these things, then you are building unity.  

  • She may in her mind know she can't question your loyalty any more.  but if she pulls back and chooses to justify herself doing so, do not be surprised if she attacks you by throwing jabs about the new changes in you being fake or short term because nobody changes long term or that you are still trying to trick her to win her back.  

    She may know or want to believe the changes are permanent, but she may test you.

    But maybe she's at the point she won't do any of these things.

    Keep being patient and kind.

  • Thank you, Tim. I respect your honesty so don't worry about that. Yeah, regarding the errands, we always do that stuff. Me mostly since I'm usually out the door for the gym in the morning, but I asked her about the gym the previous Friday and she wanted to go. The only thing I did that was out of the ordinary routine was buy her the nail polish.

    You're right though regarding her pulling back or testing me throughout each day. I'll touch on the with Day 3, because it was more recent. Thank you again.

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