Collaborate without boundaries

Love is Patient (Recommitted to the Love Dare)

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Hello everyone. It has been a good couple of months since I last posted, because the last time I did, I believed that we had just turned a corner and that we were making strides of reconciliation. However, I was wrong. Since then it has been interesting. I was content, and giving my wife space until about a month and a half ago when she told me again that she still wanted to separate. It broke my heart, and ever since then I have been an emotional roller coaster. I would give her space for a string of days and then ask about us, which was never received well because I know she felt confined every time I would ask. Essentially, I have been struggling with acting in my own flesh and trying to be God.

I have struggled with reading her diary here and there which has only brought more anxiety, because I was exposed to her feelings for this other man and how she fantasizes about another life with him. My anxiety of being unable to grasp at anything has been evident and has caused my wife to feel unsafe with her words or thoughts. She's also disengaged from speaking to our close Christian circle about Godly wisdom/advice that would help our marriage. Instead, she talks to some coworkers from her job who are going through similar situations. This of course concerns me, because I believe that they may focus on personal happiness instead of Godly obedience. At this time, however, I've learned that this has only been an expression of my LACK of faith in God's design and His plans. His ways are higher than ours, but I foolishly thought I could add to it. So I am re-dedicating myself to the Love Dare and officially not speaking about our marriage to my wife. I'm choosing to believe in the best, give her space, and focus on my walk with the LORD which is the primary point to why He has us in this trial. I'm not reading her notebook or anything of the like.

As for 'Love it Patient', yesterday I just wrote a brief note to my wife that expressed my apology for being impatient, how love does not operate that way, and that she didn't deserve that. Please pray that I remain steadfast in my silence as I seek to serve the LORD and my wife. It has been almost 8 months now, but God can do the impossible, and I know that includes reconciling my marriage. We are still living together, and even though she's said some things that make my flesh doubt, I need to trust God and be silent in the waiting. God be with you all in your marriages!

  • It's good you see where you made mistakes and now know how to correct them.  Read Sean's journals if you haven't.  

    As far as writing the note, I would say that is going above the dare.  Don't tell her, by your testimony you are building just show her.

  • I hear you, Tim. I've been doing just that since then. Thank you.

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