Collaborate without boundaries

Feeling like not much hope

  • Comments 4

We have been married for 20yrs. He saved me from an abusive husband and he helped me raise my kids. Which I appreciate it. We have had issues on and off over the years but always manage to work through them. This time I dont think thats going to happen. Our daughter doesnt respect him or his rules in our house. She is 25yrs old and has a baby. we let her move back in with us to help her with the baby. The baby daddy is the issue, hes a criminal, does drugs, steals her car and others. She continues to bring him to the house even though my husband and I dont want them here. Last week on Wed he stole her car again and by friday she had forgiven him and brought him to the house again. I didn't see them come in or my husband. He threw his wedding ring at me and said he was done and there was nothing I could about it. He was tired of being treated like a door mat in his own house, that he didnt love me anymore. He told me that either he was leaving or I was.   My heart is broken and I dont want it to be over. I totally understand how he feels and he has every right but dont want him to walk away from me. He has shown no emotion at all, he says hes too hurt and has no emotion to give or feel. He went and opened a new bank account and moved all the money and his direct deposit. He told me yesterday that there is nothing I can do to change his mind. His mom gave us a copy of the Love Dare when it came out and we started it together and didnt finish. Im afraid to try or bring it up with him. He gets angry if I bring it up. I just dont know what to do, but cry which he hates. I feel lost. the hardest part of all of this is we have a covenant marriage and he says hes ok living apart and still being married, but Im not ok with it. He promised me that he would never walk away from me. I understand hes hurt so am I. We have gone through so much over the years and over came all of it. I dont believe him when he says he hasnt loved me in a long time and has wanted this, he was fine until our daughter brought boyfriend to the house again.. 

  • Welcome.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  And do not read ahead in the book, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  This will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  

    Things will get worse before it gets better, but this will serve purpose.

    have no expectations of him when you do the dares.  He will ignore and get upset at times when you do a dare.  

    Do not ask him to do the dares, it is your journey, you have been called to do them, not him.

    I would say if she keeps bringing the guy over, you need to let her know she needs to find her own place asap, and give her a timeframe.  And stick to it.  Still help her such as babysitting, etc.  But don't let  her have freedom of coming and going if he is going to be around the house even one more time.

  • Welcome.  Do a dare a day, no more, no less.  And do not read ahead in the book, other than the appendix, especially about leading the heart.  This will be a journey, one between you and Christ, not you and him.  He will be used as a tool to mold you.  

    Things will get worse before it gets better, but this will serve purpose.

    have no expectations of him when you do the dares.  He will ignore and get upset at times when you do a dare.  

    Do not ask him to do the dares, it is your journey, you have been called to do them, not him.

    I would say if she keeps bringing the guy over, you need to let her know she needs to find her own place asap, and give her a timeframe.  And stick to it.  Still help her such as babysitting, etc.  But don't let  her have freedom of coming and going if he is going to be around the house even one more time.

  • Do not take this part personally or as any type of attack or judgement.  But it threw up a red flag when I read he saved you from your fist husband.

    Did you begin dating him while still married?  Even if he was abusive, you were still married when you were with your current husband it sounds like.

    If this is the case, tell Christ you are sorry and then accept his forgiveness.  

    Again, not saying anything negative to you.  But on this site, we try to speak up to help others.  So, please do not look at this as anything but trying to help.

  • I already made her leave, she was given a choice and she chose him. She was told that she needs to respect his wishes and the house rules which is he is not welcome or aloud to come to the home.

    We were friends before we got married. He helped me as a friend and then it turned into more after my divorce.

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