Collaborate without boundaries


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I have to remember.....We hear so often on this site  to not have expectations.  But I have to  remember that is reserved for my wife.  Not to have expectations of her reactions to  anything I do with kindness or showing  patience.  But I need to  keep reminding myself to have great expectations of what God can do in my life, through His divine providence for me.  And then again, I am more fully realizing  to  have  great expectations of  what He can do in my wife's life.   Such as bring her back to church, and for her to have a desire to  grow in Him (that is if she doesn't now.  there are no signs of that.)

I went to see the movie I Can Only Imagine last night.  And how his dad comes to Jesus in the movie was a great reminder or a great visual aid in seeing how  God can transform someone.  Anyone that is intending to see it, I don't think I gave anything important away.  If I did, sorry.

It's kind of  funny.  Before this trial, I would never have the desire to see a Christian movie.  How we all change in the dares.  If God can get us to  change through the dares, He surely can place someone or something in our spouses lives to change them.  Have great expectations  of  what He can do in your life and your spouse's.  But remember, all in his timing, and that our spouses do have a free will that  He will not take away, but will heavily influence in the right time.

She is still pretty cold to me.  She still goes  out quite a bit and out quite late.  She is still  picking  on me at times.  It is harder and harder to just bite my tongue.  Last night I told her she's just  rude.  i did not say it rudely, just matter as a matter of fact.  She didn't bat an eye or retaliate or harden back up at all.  A few years ago, her reaction would have  felt like a death sentence.  

She does tell me thank you now and then.  It's funny, she knows I don't go out that much and when I do I don't stay out late.  But last night, as I let her know I am getting out of the house for a while, she gives me a shopping  list to buy some groceries.  The old me would have thrown a fit, that she expects me to do her job when I want to get out of the house for a while.  but, as you all  would do, I took the list and shopped.  patience and  kindness.  It goes a long  way. She said thank you.  Nice to hear those words, but even nicer knowing God got us to this point.

We may have to  go on a  long  trip together in a few months.  I can't  imagine sitting in a car for  her for many hours  each way.  Ha, there goes  my expectations of things being rough.  No expectations of our spouse, good or bad.  

  • Hang in there the Lord is working in you, and if in you then in your wife. He is faithful.

  • You don't have to have expectations with God. We know that anything is possible with Him. He clearly tells us what He can and will do in His word.

    I still haven't seen I Can Only Imagine but the story of his father's redemption is something I want to see. It shows that anything with God is possible no matter what we or those around us think.

    I'm the same about Christian movies. Before, I wanted action, and Christian movies had too much story. Now I seek out Christian movies and when I see all the sexual impurity and vulgarity in other movies it makes me sick. It makes me think how God must feel about sin. It's disgusting and repulsing.

    I would kill for the opportunity to serve my wife. If she would give me a shopping list tonight I would cry so many tears of joy on it that I probably wouldn't be able to read it.

  • Josh, hadn't thought of it like that, if God's working in us, He's working in our spouses.

    Eddie, I think we mean pretty much the same thing.  I have to remember that what I read and know of God is reality, not just words, or words meant for someone else and not me.

    About the immorality in movies.  I guess I have been so conditioned to the vulgarity in movies that i have been somewhat desensitized.  Thanks for the reminder how of this.  I do cringe every time I hear the Lord's name taken in vain in movies.  And the world would say we are just prudes when we wish nudity was not shown.  

  • Eddie, another reminder, thanks.  That after figuring I had a .003 to a 3% chance of not going through a d, i should be grateful of getting that list.  I have mentioned how it is a dangerous time when things get a little better, because we begin to let go of what we learned in the dares.  You caught me doing this.  Thanks.

    It just got to me how she goes out 16 hours a day on weekends and leaves everything to me and the kids. And then when I say i just need to get out of the house to her, to get away from always working around the house, etc, she takes advantage and gives me a shopping list she had made several days ago.  But, I should be looking at it as you stated.  Ugh, when will I grow up.  

  • When my wife had our 10 year old call me because she locked herself out of the garage my first reaction was "Is she crazy to think I will help her after what she has done to me?" I felt like that for 5 minutes then because my habits have changed so much in the last year I knew my feelings were wrong and I went and opened the garage for her. I didn't get a thank you. As a matter of fact what I got was my wife telling my daughter that I am lying about not having the garage door opener. I'm not lying because I don't have it and I just happen to have one built in to my vehicle. I have no idea where they actually are. But the chance to serve her was awesome and what happened backfired for her once again because now our 10 year old is mad at her for how she reacted when I actually helped and did nothing wrong.

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