Collaborate without boundaries

joyful moment

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As I mentioned, she is I think coming home most nights earlier than ever before.  and she is responding to questions or statements I make now and then.  I still give her space, but may mention something about what happened at work or something i heard on the news.  The response may just be a grunt or a hmm, or well, did you tell your boss?  but it is much better than ever before.

I still have no proof she is still in an emotional affair, or in a friendship with the other male.  She doesn't really hide texting or calling anymore.  

A few months ago maybe, I found evidence, I guess I was snooping, but I didn't realize it at the time or didn't think of it that way, that she may be having sex with someone.  Not foolproof fact.  And I know love believes the best.  And the 85, 10, and 5% rule.  And I did well not dwelling on the possible evidence.  Until this morning.  For some reason logic hit me.  What other explaination is there?  It has to be true she is having more than an emotional affair.

Then, in prayer this morning.  I prayed on this.  And got nothing really in return.  Usually what comes to mind is look at the sins that I commit over and over and how Jesus forgives me over and over.  And I will do that for her.  But for some reason, this just didn't bring me peace like it had in the past. 

Then on the way to work, I remembered all of you guys and gals who keep standing, knowing full well your spouse is having an affair or minimally spending time with someone else.  and how some of you accepted your spouse back and reconciled after finding out your spouse caught an STD and still had it, and others, 2 for sure, who found out their spouse had a baby or two with someone else, and still stood for their marriage.

And it hit yet again, if you guys can do this, why can't I.  So, thank you all for standing, thank you for your testimony, and the light of Christ you shine.

And when your testimonies hit me on my drive, pure joy hit me too.  A joy that can only come from Christ.  A joy that is so good it really is painful to feel.  It's like our human selves can not fully experience what Christ is.  What His joy and peace really are.  Like we get just a sliver of it on earth.  and we can not really comprehend what heaven is really like.

I hear now and then from others say, I know my dad is in heaven, enjoying a beer while playing cards with his buddies.  We think so much on our human terms.  That if we really knew what heaven was like, paying cards and enjoying a beverage would be so underwhelming.  

The joy i felt this morning was the same level of joy I have felt twice before in this journey.  And at least for me, it is a joy so intense that I really just have to let it go after a few minutes, because it is to intense to  hold on to.  It's like a taste of what Christ really is, and i am not anywhere close to understanding or feeling what He really is.

So, thank you all.  May God's peace be with you even in the most troubling moments. And these hurtful moments are just a sliver of time compared to  God's gift of eternity.  in the long run, our pains we feel right now are nothing compared to what He offers.

  • Amen, Tim.  He is our greatest joy!

  • I have been there, experiencing that Joy.  For me though it fades too fast and I would go down and be depressed.

    I know full well that my wife is with another man.  That I'd take her back and try again In a heartbeat.  Not because I want or need her, but because God asks me to.

    Obedience and self sacrifice are what God asks of us.  To do his will even if it means sacrificing something about ourselves.  Putting away our Pride, our selfishness, or pursuing happiness and taking the hard road.

  • Tim, I  glad you find so much Joy in The Lord!  As always you are in my prayers brother.

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