Collaborate without boundaries

she said i need to talk to you

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Whenever she says we need to talk, the fear factor hits the flesh, but for a moment, then I just ask the Holy Spirit to be with us as we have the talk.  We had a bunch of the talks in the first year, that those words, we need to talk, can raise the hair on the back of your neck.  But in tonights talk, she said she has been having weird feelings in her head lately.  And she can't figure out why.  We discussed lack of sleep, she said as of late for the most part she is trying to get home by 1 or 130am.  I said maybe alcohol is affecting you differently now.  She said she doesn't drink much now and Saturday she didn't have one drink.  I said maybe caffiene is affecting you differently and she said she doesn't have much caffiene any more.

Thank God for this change, she is telling me her health issue, she is cutting back on staying out so late and not drinking as much.  I still don't think for most nights she drank much at all.  But maybe a few times a year would then she would spend the night at her girflriends house.  If love is to believe the best.  Before she could have been given a month to live and she would not have told me about her health.

I think in my last journal or so, she had stayed home all but friday through sunday for about 6 weeks in a row.  And then it creeped back over the next few weeks back like it use to be.  But Superbowl night she was home about 1030 and didnt watch any of the game.  So she wasn't at a bar evidently. 

She has the last few weeks been throwing petty little digs at me.  And if it wasn't for the endurance the dares build in Christ, I would have told her off.  The flesh wants to tell her why doesn't she just leave me and the kids.

We all when we are in this in the beginning think, I will bite my tongue forever as long as she/he comes back.  But I will say, at least for me, and I am not patting myself on the back, but I did a great job of biting my tongue, and now, that she has softened, it becomes difficult at times to do so.

As Sean use to say, we get in a trial, and beg God to be there for us.  Then when the trial is over, we say, thanks God, see ya next time I need ya.  And it is so easy to get back to that way of life.  Maybe that is why God is keeping this trial going for me.  So that I really learn to stay in the dares.  

For those in the first round or two, it feels like forever that you have been in this trial.  But I can tell you, as so many more can also testify, this is worth it, when you keep this as a journey between you and Christ, not you and your spouse.  

Keep taking a moment at a time when need be.  that moment will be stretched to hours at a time at some point when you put Christ way above your spouse, and keep getting stretched where when you are hit with something that should level you, you kind of get hit, call out to God, and in no time are in His peace, and no matter what, those that love Him will be ok no matter the situation.

After the talk, i asked her if she wanted to go for a walk.  She knows I walk the dog often.  She said no.  I had no expectations, of her saying yes, or no.  So, i should have done this before typing, I need to take a moment or two and thank God for the brick in the wall that He removed.  

  • I feel joy for you! I love when knowing He goes before us arranging things and opening doors, we get to enjoy one of His gifts!

  • I am so happy for you, Tim. You indeed endured quite a long time just to reach this point. God is good.

    I am hoping to be able to have that kind of wall of peace around me so I remain unpeturb despite whatever circumstances. :) God bless you.

  • I am so happy for you Tim.  I hope she is on herway back to you and more importantly to God.  

  • Thank you all.

  • I rejoice with you, Tim!  It is wonderful to me how, if we stop and listen/look/trust God will show us little glimmers of hope to show us He is working in those we love and are praying for.  I like how you phrased it 'the brick in the wall that He removed.'  Awesome!  The walls weren't built overnight and taking them down, God will use care and love as He brings them down.  Praise the Lord!  

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