Collaborate without boundaries

community that prays together

  • Comments 11

Hi everyone.  There have been a few times we as a community tried praying at the same time, once a week.  So, maybe we should all start doing this again.  How about Wednesday nights, at 9pm eastern time?  You don't have to make it a long, drawn out prayer.  But there is goodness in praying together.   And this is the best way I see how we can accomplish us all praying at the same time.  I just learned to use my calendar on my phone, so I will set an ongoing reminder for me to specifically pray for all of us at this time.

On another note at the home front.  She continues to stay home through the weeks.  When she does go out during the week it is with one or more of the kids.  She said hi to me, maybe Christmas morning, first.  She has only said hi to me first one other time, and that was because I caught her so off guard.  She didn't know I was around the corner she was coming around.

She has been talking on the phone a couple times in front of me and not gotten off quickly like she use to if I came walking in the door.  She doesn't hide her phone so i can't see the screen so much any more, and once or twice kind of let me know what she was doing on her phone.

I now and then will throw a sentence or two out to her over the last year or more, as a way of trying to share or show unity.  She as of late doesn't really respond, but will nod her head like she is acknowledging she heard me.

Tonight she was leaving to shop with the girls.  I could tell she was stressed out a bit and trying to maintain composure.  I asked if she was ok, she said she was stressed.  I told her ok, I will let her be, (because in the past if she had an anxiety attack, it was all due to me being in the same proximity of her.)  As she was leaving.  She called me to come to her.   Dread filled my mind.  When she wants to talk, at least in the past, it was always negative and hatred and pure venom.  And to want to talk when she was feeling an anxiety attack tonight, well, it didn't look good.  But, have no expectations.  She just wanted to let me know a few things that are going on with the family.  Nothing major.  She then just opened up about what was stressing her.  Her left side of her face and neck are numb and swollen.  She thinks it may be a combination of an infection and a new medication she is on.  Before she seriously could have a heart attack and would not have told me unless absolutely necessary.  

the stress isn't there so much.  Christmas eve i suggested we take my mom and her parents out to eat with us, since they will be alone.  Before she would have gone off on me about always putting my mom first.  Which isn't the case.  I have always thought we both have done the cleaving and leaving thing pretty well.  She just has seen me honor my mom as a person should where in the pre LD days, i didn't honor her as I should have.

It was funny.   We had to drive seperately to my mom's house for Christmas.  She got ready to leave after some of the family had left.  And one of the kids asked her, Are you going home?  Because he wanted to go home then too.  She responded yes, where else would I go.  I thought that was pretty funny.  Like she up until recently, would never have gone out or to someone elses house.  

I asked her if she wanted to fool around at one point.  Yes, I have the moves and words to turn her into putty.  LOL.  She matter of factly said no.  She wasn't rude about it.

So, things seem to be getting better.  Or maybe she is giving up on the anger but still wants to pursue a d.  who knows, she may not even know.  But I know God will continue to take care of me in all of this.

Hope we all choose to and remember to say a prayer as a community once a week.

Peace be with you.

  • Wednesday it is.  I am a little late reading this but I will pray before we go to bed. We can only go through this with God by our side.

  • Wednesday it is.  I am a little late reading this but I will pray before we go to bed. We can only go through this with God by our side.

  • I'm good with Wednesdays too.  I'll be at work but I can always work in a quick one when needed.  

  • Sounds good to both of you and anyone else that joins in.  Thanks.

  • Hey Tim, so glad that she is continuing to soften.  I guess it gives me hope.  You have been in this about a year longer than me but it just gets so hard sometimes.  Wednesday nights is good.  Prayers to you and thank you for being here on this site and keeping it going with such dedication.

  • I am so happy that you are seeing some change, Tim!  I will continue to pray for everyone here each day, but will also make a special note to join everyone in prayer on Wednesday evenings.  I am going to start attending a divorce care group at my church and it meets on Wednesday nights so I will be praying around 8:00 pm as I am central time, but you betcha!  Count me in!

  • Amen brother.

    PS:  We need to work on your moves =)

  • I am in for the prayer time, too!  I like it!  

    I suggest that you ask her if she wants to "get conjugal".  It has always worked for my husband!  That is typed with sarcasm, of course!  But, in all reality, it did work....

  • Thanks everyone.  

    Sunny, I will have to practice some serious moves for next time.  But I will definitely start with Lynn's catch phrase of Do you want to get conjugal.  i hope I don't start laughing though next time i try..  LOL.  Good to have a few laughs on here.  

    One thing I have been wondering for some time is, if we ever do "fool around" , do I risk it, meaning, am I taking a risk of catching an STD?  We were intimate once in the first few months.  She asked if we could.  I would think I would know by now after 4 years if I had caught anything from that time.  She did tell me in the beginning around that same time that all the guys she had phone numbers to were not dating material or marriage material and she wasn't out looking for that.  And that I should see all the women out there that are just looking for someone.  And she wasn't one of those women.  But who knows what's happened since or if she was really telling the truth.  

    I know love believes the best.  And I know if we ever do become intimate, if i show I am concerned about going all the way (more smooth wording on my part, ha ha)  , or worried about catching disease I will not just ruin the moment, but really offend her to the point she will pull way back, especially if she hasn't been physical with anyone else.

    i have prayed now and then about this, but get no answer.  It has been suggested to wear a condom, but that would be odd between us and she would really question what on earth I was doing or why I would even have bought them.  

    So, as much as intimacy should be between husband and wife, this is a sticky point for me.   I also am not wanting to pursue this because it may be a form of me snooping or trying to control things so I find out if she was physical with anyone or more than one.  

    Any rate, Wednesdays it is.  Good.

  • My heart just sinks reading this.  They do make such a mess of things, don't they?  I guess my advice is that you shouldn't be sleeping with anyone who you can't have an honest and open conversation with.  I think that may apply to every single situation involving sex.  I know that has to be discouraging because you probably can't imagine getting to that point from where you are right now.  It is the goal, though, to get to that point.

    This is just one more unfair thing to deal with and worry about.  Every step of the journey has a purpose, though.  I hope you find some peace in an answer somehow.

  • Yes, it sure feels unfair, what all of us are going through.  But as all of this trial is proving out, their is no need to worry.  God has it all figured out for us, and gives us an out in all of our trials.  Not meaning out of the marriage, but out of each ordeal we seem to run into in this trial.

    Somehow, if the time comes, I believe God will have a plan on how to handle the situation.

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