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The Devil was so busy last night. My husband and I were supposed to be sitting down and settling things at 10 pm so we wouldn't carry our garbage into 2012. Well, it started ok then he just flipped and the Devil was back he started telling about how much he resents me. I too forgot everything I've learned since I've gotten closer to christ and started the Dare. I got so hurt and fed up with all the venom he was spitting at me that I got physical. I am so ashamed because I anger can scare me. I told him he was free but I looked at the wall at a pic of my two beautiful sons and said I would try again.
The next morning I woke up a prepared to go to church. He said he didn't feel like church and I can go alone and he would keep the children. I didn't argue or force I told him I wanted the kids to go and I started to get them dressed. He got up and said he was going to go to a different church and I should have asked him again to go. I asked him again and he decided he would go. I'm glad he did. We had a good service and I saw him cry. I was like a ray of hope.
Today's dare was to ask three things I do to irritate him. He of course didn't say anything small. He said I was insecure, I don't like him to leave the house. and I was controlling. Of course I was prepared for something like "you leave your socks in the floor" but I followed the book. I didn't retaliate or get upset. I said ok I will work on those things. Then he responded "let's let everything go and start a new fresh year" SHOCKING
I see a little light at the end of the tunnel. Still some fear but I can see the man I once knew returning.
In your last paragraph you mention about being controlling. You need to trust Christ. When you take control, you take it away from Christ. And it will always cause problems in some way.
One important thing to always remember, especially in a walk with Christ. You are not God. Dont try to be, and by trying to control another is not something that will always work out.
Trust Christ and allow His comfort to always be with you and know that His plan is part of your life.
You are completely right. I must not try to control him or our marriage and the path it takes. I have been telling myself to trust in God and believe that through him all things work out for the best.
Sean, you are an inspiring guide through the Love Dare journey. I log in to get your insight. Thank You so much
Thank you.
One of the best ways to understand control in your life. This might sound harsh but it is not intended to be.... You are not God, so dont try to be, leave the control to Him....
I wrote a journal about it, please take a look lovedarestories.com/.../we-are-not-god.aspx
Sean,
Thank you so much for suggesting that I read this. It's exactly what i need to hear. It hurts so bad when I am told that I am controlling because I realize that it is true. It is a very hard habit to break but I strive to surrender control and realize that I am NOT God.
You are such a blessing to have on this journey.