Collaborate without boundaries

9/22/18 - Day 85 - Love Always is Not Rude

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Today is 9/22/18. The day started off pretty well, but took a turn later on. Right around 4:00 PM today I tried to give her a call, went straight to voicemail. That that was sort of strange so I called again. Same thing. Hmmmm, So I went to her Facebook to make sure nothing had happened, I was worried about her, only thing I learned there was I have been removed as a friend. I am not sure whats going on with the phone, but it makes me feel as if she has blocked my number, but I see no reason for her to do so. I barely even talk to her. I am just so confused, she also stopped following me on Instagram, but that is fine. I guess I am just worried and scared too.

So in short, I was not able to complete the dare today, but I tried.

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I am drained, my ex wife and he boyfriend broke up I spent an hour on the phone with the ex wife about this last night. This is added a ton of stress on me now since she doesn't have anything here. I mean nothing except for some clothes and a few personal items. So she wants me to move out there, which is fine. I would like to move, but I am just not ready yet. Then on the other hand, my parents would want to go, but there is no way my mom would be able to handle that. So now I don't know  what to do.... I was hoping to get some feedback from Erika about it today, but we saw what happened already.

I am just tired of being so worn out, stressed, upset and crying.....

Why is it getting harder? Everyday she is taking another step away.

I even bought  her an Amish doughnut this morning in case she was able to meet and talk to me for a little today about everything.

I can't even just pull a Hosea because the covenant isn't there holding us, just flesh. I don't want to quit or just give up, but it is so hard some days.

 

 

 

  • I'm sure you don't want to hear this, but have you prayed or feel you've heard from God she is the one you should seek for marriage?  I am not saying at all she isn't.  She could very well be the one.  

    No matter what's happening, trust in God's divine providence for you.  It is better than you can imagine.

    You're seeing more and more what we talked about in our replies, about it being harder in many ways for you since you didn't have a covenant.  But, this is also an advantage for you in that you even more so than most of us have to depend ever more so on Christ.  And that is where you and all of us need to be, trusting solely on Christ.

  • Could the feeling of being worn out and tired be because your thoughts are more so on her and moving and other things vs on Him?  These things are signs we have less trust in Him than we should.  

    Or could it be that you are wanting to take control and fix things. that you want it all to happen in your time, not God's time?  

    Be still...Be in His peace...His comfort is there for you.  

  • I still don't ever call mine for anything unnecessary.  And her phone often goes straight to VM.  Love believes the best, that her phone is just shut off or acting up.  Do not give thoughts about her removing you as a FB friend, etc.  These are things she feels she needs to do to keep herself justified in her choices.

  • Tim,

    To be honest, no, I have not heard from God that she is the one. I have not heard anything from Him. It has been so quiet and it makes this so hard.

    I think I am truly getting lonely, I am sad and tired of crying.

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