Collaborate without boundaries

9/15/18 - Day 78 - Love Still Fulfills Dreams

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Today is 9/15/18. Okay, so the dare.... I decided to get us tickets to Trans Siberian Orchestra. We went there, jeez 3 years ago I believe and it was awesome. Well.... her mom got her a ticket to go with them already. Instantly deflated feeling. Okay, so I picked a venue that is not likely the same on that they picked, so she can most likely still go with me so that not so bad. Too bad I feel as if she is trying to look for an out. Maybe just negativity sneaking in on me. We will see soon, she said her mom was in a bad mood and she didn't want to ask her, which could be completely true. Love believes the best eh.

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She is in New York this weekend for a wedding. So I am over here hoping that God does a little bit of work to nudge her back in my direction. Well... all I got was "Do you want to see the most awkward entrance into a reception"?. I say okay and then she send me a picture. It is the little thing that tells you were you sit. It has a heart on it and says ""future Mrs." Erika XXXXXXX" obviously my last name. I understand for her, yes it is awkward, but to me, that encompasses everything I want with Erika right now. I didn't need to see that, it hurt. I would have been completely fine just not knowing about all of that. After she sent me that, I just said I am sorry. She shrugged it off as if it didn't bother her, while I was crushed. I didn't want to express that though, she was at a wedding and it was not the time for me to draw her attention away from it. So I just didn't really say anything for the rest of the night unless she sent me something, which I was light in my responses.

I really do not know why this hit me so hard today. I actually cried again and it sucks. We are almost 90 days apart and it still feels as if it was yesterday she left, emotional pain wise that is.

So I feel as if I am 0-2 today. Good thing tomorrow is a new day.

  • Your flesh sees it as 0-2.  In Christ the day was 2-0.  He uses everything for our good when we love Him.  Rejoice knowing He will never forsake or abandon you.  He is surely sufficient.

  • Tim is right, and remember that we cant see the other person's heart, we se the outward and God looks on the heart, all things work for the good of those how love God and are called according to his purpose. Win, win situation, when God wins you win.

  • I just wish God was always speaking louder to me than the flesh.

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