Collaborate without boundaries

8/9/18 - Day 43 - Love is Still Not Selfish

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Today is 8/9/18.Well, after 42 days of rejection, being selfish is not something I see happening easily now. I put a lot of thought into this dare, it took me almost an entire day to make a decision. I think the Zen garden will be a good gift though. I would have loved to have given it to her, but she  stayed away all day. In fact, I don't  think I have seen her in 4 days now. The distance is growing on her end..... Hopefully she comes to the house tomorrow and sees the little gift.


Knowing this dare was coming up,  I went ahead and ordered a small gift for her on Amazon. It got here today, but she was never here to get it. She will have to see it this weekend though. Anyway, it is one of those mini zen gardens that you put on your desk for stress relief. I thought this was right up her ally with her anxiety being the way it is. She can take it to her work and use it there! I left a little note on it also. "For all the Tah! All the stress relief!- Bah".

I felt as if I was on an island today, all by myself. Erika messaged me today only when I sent an email that had her on it. She just wanted to know if she had to do anything. Other than that we had radio silence. It stayed that way until around 9:30 PM when I just had to ask her a quick question and then that conversation died fast. I am not going to try and force her to talk, she will when she is ready. Made some smores for myself, vacuumed a bit and that was my day. 

Radio silence is hard but required sometimes. I got this term from a cousin of mine who almost went through a divorce.

  • Your cousin's testimony that a d does not have to happen is good.  That you aren't forcing conversation is good.  

    I understand the feeling of being on an island b yourself. But even these words when they come to mind, change the wording, even if in your head immediately.  Change it to God and I are on an island, just the two of us.  

  • YOu will be able to anticipate the dares as you go through additional rounds.  But treat the dares as if you do not know what's coming up.  Keep it truly to a dare a day, no more, no less, without changing the dares to make them easier.

    Because maybe God would have given you a different idea of what to get her on the actual day of the dare.  Or, maybe you would have ordered the gift on the dare's day and it would have come in on the very day you get to see her and give it to her.  

  • That is an excellent way of thinking about things, you are right. It is always God and I.

    Also, since I would be out of town for the next four days, I knew that I didn't have a choice. I am leaving for Las Vegas 8/11 and will be back on 8/14, but I am going to keep doing the dares while I am away.

    I will be coming back with my son :)

    I will stick to doing it a dare a day though.

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