This was a roller coaster of a day. The dare was completed first thing, but I didn’t realize it at first.
Every year, my daughter and I go to the beach with my parents for a week. My husband has never come with us. He always says that he has to work. I also take a vacation with him at least every other year, but he rarely has enough vacation time to go more often… or so he says. I have been praying on whether or not to go with my parents this year. It just didn’t seem right. My mother still isn’t talking to me because she doesn’t believe in my decision to stand for my marriage, and my husband is not invited to their beach house. I told him a couple of days ago that I wasn’t going to go to the beach with my parents, but I would still keep that week off work and do some fun things with our daughter. A day later, he messaged me that he really needed a vacation. I messaged him back to take off the days that he has, and I would work my vacation days around that. The morning of the dare, he tells me that he did request time off work… for the last three days during my vacation week. Wow! I am purposefully neglecting a free week at the beach with my parents to honor my marriage to my husband, and in return, he’s taking real vacation time to spend time with our daughter and I. After we talked about it before he went to work, I was praying about how I would accomplish the dare. My husband’s words about taking the time off work came back to me, and I almost cried. I hear you God! Got it – I already accomplished the dare and You let me know that I made the right decision.
I thank God that He allowed the dare to happen during the very first part of the day. Our daughter had a sleepover that night, so I invited my husband out to a movie. He was interested in going, but not interested in anything that was out. We messaged a little during the day, but not as much as usual. I called him on my way home, and he answered the phone, but was very unhappy and didn’t have anything to say. We usually talk during my entire ride home, which can be 45 minutes to an hour. When I got home, he was in an extremely cranky mood. We talked for a few minutes, and I told him a couple of cute stories about our daughter. I heated up some leftovers for our dinner, and we just watched TV for the evening. He bought me a TV series for my birthday, so we watched that and talked about the plot and who all of the characters were. Beyond that, there was very little talking, and he fell asleep before I went upstairs. He was really distant all evening. I spent some time in prayer before bed.
This morning, he was just as distant. He talked to me for just a minute before getting in the shower and only a minute before leaving for work. I only got a half hug before he left, but I smiled through it and told him I loved him and to have a good day. I don’t know why the sudden distance. I’m praying on it. Yesterday, I started the book “Strength to Stand” by TD Jakes. The first chapter is so very empowering… I think I will re read it today. God “gives power to the weak and to those who have no might He increases strength” (Isa. 40:29) God gives power, not to the person who is standing strong, but to the one who is swaying on wobbly knees. He gives power to the faint.
Many of us refer to the shifts in moods/desires as"180s". I have referenced it as "Prince kinda Charming by NIght" and "Tazmanian Devil" by day. :) It is part of this process as I have seen in many I have kept close with on this journey. Again, focus not on his actions, but on HIm...He is walking you. Isn't it awesome to know?
Oh yes, the lovely 180 degree turns...as Libby mentions - it is important to focus on Him and not your husband's actions. The more you focus on your husband the more you are going to be taking a ride on his roller coaster. Unfortunately, anger/pride/hurt...whatever emotion you can drum up tends to take over and the flip flops occur. That is why we've got to remain steady in His presence. He is our constant.
Because of this journey, you will see much more into any problems. Be carful of that. You did great on this one, but always keep in mind that things may not always be as bad as they seem to you. And if they are... This is when you need to love the most. This is when your strength in Christ needs to shine.