Introduction

I have not seen "Fireproof" or ever heard of the book "The Love Dare" until a very dear friend of mine introduced me to this website. I still have yet to see "Fireproof," but a few days after I visited this website and read a few journal entries of her "Love Dare" journey, I knew I had to purchase the book! I received the book a few days ago and just yesterday started my own "Love Dare" journey.

I am not married yet, but I have been dating my fiance for nearly five years now; it will be five years in May. We have always had arguments and struggled and I always told myself if he did this, or if he did that, things would be so much better. I never thought that I was perfect, but I always focused on what HE could change rather than what I could change.

I love my fiance more than life itself. He truly has a heart of Gold, he would give you the shirt off of his back, and he treats me like a princess (most of the time). However, there are certain aspects about him that drive me insane; so much so, that I turn into a crazy psycho when he does certain things.

I have also drifted away from God and become quite inactive. I am LDS and want to attend church more regularly (okay, I want to start attending period), I want to start reading my scriptures, praying (and not just when I am in need), etc. But, I always seem to have an excuse not to; I'm too tired, I'm not in the right mood, I have nothing to wear, I don't want to get all dressed up, and so on.

I have had second thoughts on whether or not I should marry my fiance, so I figured why not give "The Love Dare" a whirl. I hope to not only grow closer to God, but to develop a deeper love for my fiance. I also want to become more Christ like. I am an extremely opinionated, strong willed, and bull-headed individual. While I actually like these qualities and am proud to say I am like this, I also know that these personality traits can be dangerous. I do not want to turn into a door mat, but I want to not fly off the handle if something goes wrong. I want to be able to be calm, patient, and tender-hearted. I know I am capable of these qualities and exhibit them regularly; however, they tend to disappear during arguments, tension, etc. I want to be a corner-stone for my future husband and my future family and I really think that "The Love Dare" can help me accomplish all of those things.

Day 1

The first part of this dar is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It's better to hold your tongue than to say something you'll regret.

This is a dare I could have used a long time ago; not just with my fiance, but with people in general. It's commen sense, but the way the authors of "The Love Dare" explain patience and how one uses it to show love makes a more lasting impression than "common knowledge".

An issue that my fiance and I have struggled with since we started dating is the fact that he will tell me things (make promises) saying he will do such and such the day before, and come the next day, he never does those things. For example, on the days that he does not work, he has school. He has always said that he would get up at a decent hour, work on homework, then go to school; since he has no energy to work on homework during the work week; which I do not blame him for. However, when he decides to sleep all day - and I mean ALL day, it pisses me off.

I would get so infuriated with him. I would yell, I would threaten to break up, I would say hurtful things. I considered it lying; when he would PROMISE that he would get up, do what he knows he should do, and then blatently sleeps in, and wastes his day. It angers me because I know he is smarter than that and I also get frustrated because I am working my butt of going to school full-time and work full-time to ensure that I am educated and am able to provide for my family. It bothers me that he doesn't see the need to do the same.

Back to the dare... I told myself that no matter what happend on Wednesday (yesterday) I would hold my tongue. Wednesday happens to be one of the days he goes to school, and is usually a day that we have intense arguing; so it could not have been better timing.

He and I check in with each other throughout the day; texts, brief calls, etc. He had a HUGE group presentation that night and he supposedly was going to get up early and work on his project all day before class. I had not heard from him all day and finally decided to call him around 11:30 am. I almost did not call him because I had a feeling he was still sleeping (wasting his day away). I didn't want to call him for two reasons (1) I figured that I woudl lose it and start arguing, and (2) I did not want to be his "mommy" / alarm and wake him up; he's a big boy and should do it on his own.

I calmed myself, thought about that day's dare and dediced that the right thing to do would be to call him and make sure he is awake so he does well on his presentation. I told myself that whatever happened, I would be encouraging, positive, and loving. I was bound and determined to not say anything negative.

When I called him, I was actually semi-surprised; he was in the shower. Although he had slept in, he decided that instead of being mad at himself and pouting all day (which is what he usually does - he usually decides that since he already failed, he might as well fail the rest of the day --- not really sure where that mind set came from...) he actually got himself up and started his day with a shower.

I have to admit, I had a slight urge to express my anger and disapointment in the fact that he did not get up earlier, but I refrained. I praised him on the fact that he did not get mad at himself and that I was so proud of him for getting up by himself. He asked me if I was dissapointed in him (sad that he expected me to be...) and I said no. I told him that I loved him and that he would do a fantastic job on his presentation.

I could instantly tell he was relieved. It's as if he braced himself for my wrath. That seriously made me rethink how I have reacted to certain things in the past.

There were other instances throughout the day where I would normally voice disappointment or concern, but I stayed away from doing so. I focused on all of the positive things that he did and encouraged him to continue to strive for success.

The day went exceptionally well; in regards to our relationship. Unfortunately, I am experiencing a very difficult time at work and am feeling the pressure from school and many other things floating around in my head. I have actually spent the last couple of nights crying for over an hour; and I DO NOT cry. I am one of those people that avoid heartfelt movies, books, etc. I hate crying period; happy tears, sad tears, etc. I think all of my bottling up has finally caught up to me.

I am so thankful for my friend who introduced me to "The Love Dare" and who has helped me realize that it is time to start drawing closer to God. With everything going on in my life, I do not want my relationship to fail. I have high hopes that "The Love Dare" will not only bring my fiance and I closer together, but it will better me as a person overall.