I am tired.
I have been trying - completely changed who I was and the things that bothered my husband (I was nagging and controlling). By the Holy Spirit I am a new woman! I feel free!
My husband has been coming around slightly but he went from being this man that I adored (caring, considerate, loving, affectionate, accomodating, providing, kind, forgiving, attentive, thoughtful, etc etc etc) to a complete jerk. He shows some effort (1/2 does the Love Dare - reads but doesn't really apply) shows some affection but says things that are totally rude and hurtful and I am over it.
Idk who this new man is. He is not my husband and I don't want to live in the same house with this stranger anymore.
I am torn because over the past two days I have seen some good change in him for the better however with every step forward I see him take - he takes 2 back as far as I'm concerned when he says things or makes jokes that he knows must hurt me.
EX: "We have to use a condom - I have a girlfriend" or "I love our new marriage. I don't have to do much." The old me would fly off the handle, scream and be angry for the rest of the night (but then again the old him would never say something like this.) The new me says sternly "Don't talk to me like that. I am your wife." or I just ignore it.
But as I have said - I am tired. I can't take this anymore and I think I am going to take a long weekend away. No phone. Just me and God. Let my husband see how he feels. I'm not sure if this is a good idea nor am I sure if it will backfire but I am lost and I am tired.
Don't do anything to prove a point to your husband. Focus on Him. Your husband's behavior WILL CHANGE FROM DAY TO DAY!!!!!!!!! It is part of this process...and yes, it initially blows your mind. BUT, take comfort in HIM. Do not have expectations of your husband. Give it all to HIM, he will fill your voids. Your husband's behavior is inconsistent because he himself is inconsistent. He is confused and riding an emotional rollercoaster. Stay steady. Do not join. Give LOTS OF TIME TO GOD!!!!!!!!! Create it...and He will create even more. You are loved.
Thank you! I need to hear that!
BE Still.... For I am God... Those are the words you will hear. Which means leave it to Him....
Your husband is going nuts in his mind with seeing Christ in you and all the changes Christ has made. There is no more justifications for his actions and he needs them.
Leave it with Christ. I assure you, His plan is taking place.
Thank you Sean. You are both so right!