Collaborate without boundaries

the struggle - its so hard.. it breaks

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My husband was on a business trip the last 4 days and I took the time to delve into depression and what it looks like in a man and how to best support and love them through it.

it was horrific, sad, and very enlightening.  I spent a lot of my time reading and talking to my pastor friend.

I am not sure how to move forward, I will continue the dares and loving my husband unconditionally.

For clarify it is my husband who is struggling with depression, not me.  I am just scared and sad.  God has me in HIs arms I know this, but the trust that His will is what I am prepared to be my future is not so clear.


  • Do not fear! God in control. Just live the dares. He takes care of the rest. Perfect love drives out fear,let God know that you love him and accept his love, live with that joy, he takes care of the rest.

  • I know why everyone tells you to just do the dares and no more.  Because it is so hard to do just that when your life was filled with serving this person and caring for all his needs.

    The grief involved with being calm and not 'doing' for him is so hard.  I miss him so much and he is right here.

    I love the Lord with all my heart.  He has me in His arms, I just keep struggling to stay there.

  • I know this sounds repetitive, you need to surrender your wants and desire to him, if you are t gain victory, there can be no "you" involved. Only christ can change a heart, don't interfere, we want to help but as with salvation it is not by works that we have done, it must be Christ's work through our surrender to his perfect will.

  • As far as the I am not sure how to move  forward, I will continue the dares and loving unconditionally.  

    That's really about it.  God will move everything forward as you seek Him in prayer, reading, doing the dares and continually love unconditionally and forgive.

    As Josh said, let go of being scared.  We worry most  where we trust God  the least.

  • What Josh said is dead on. When you surrender there is no "you." I struggle with that constantly because my "you" is hard to control. My "you" want to be in charge all the time. Nothing good comes from that. It's pride and pride goes before a fall. Always.

    I have had a 9mm pistol in my mouth twice in the last two years because I have such a hard time with depression. Self-awareness helped me. One day I realized I had a problem and I decided to face it instead of running away. Your husband is going to be like this until he becomes self-aware. I wish I could talk to him so bad. I was just talking about this in therapy this morning. My wife has no self-awareness and it concerns me. My therapist said sadly some people go through their whole lives without ever becoming self-aware. Mine was triggered by my wife walking out. Maybe some people never get triggered. Hopefully something soon triggers your husband. Same for my wife.

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