Collaborate without boundaries

Day 25 Love Forgives

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This was very difficult.  There is a list of names that popped into my head and all of them had been left at the Cross long ago.

As I read this and the dare it was hard, because my husband has nothing to be forgiven for, I am the one who I can't forgive for the way I took my husband for granted and became selfish.

Still this evening I told him I wanted to talk to him, I told him that I was truly sorry for everything I hadn't done to show him how I truly feel about God, him, and us that led him to feeling as he does.  I asked for his forgiveness, he said there is nothing to forgive.

I went on to tell him that there is nothing he could do, or say, that I wouldn't forgiven him for, that he has my unconditional love and anything that had happened in the past is just that.

He said I guess you are a better person than me.  I told him that wasn't what I was trying to say.  I welled up and that is when I am most dangerous with my words.  I told him I didn't say that and I am not saying you need forgiveness I just want you to know that in 34 years we have both made mistakes and all is forgive for those things we don't even remember because they didn't matter.

In any case.  I know the Lord was happy I overcame my fears of his reactions and was able to do the dare.

I figured out today the day that my life was capsized and I had to grab for the life preserver.  It was February 20th.  its been over 3 months now.  I wonder what would have happened if I had grabbed for this book as soon as he told me he wanted to leave.  Would it have changed the current situation if I had told him I was sorry and fixed the issues and worked on my relationship with God, rather than what occurred these last months.

I pray it is not too late for him to be touched by our Lord to see how much is left for us to accomplish for our Lord together.

  • Forgiveness is hard. The forgiveness required of us is I even harder, we are called to forgive as Christ forgave us, no strings attached. That means even if I feel justified due to my circumstances I have to let them go and love, trust, accept and move on with these people that have mistreated you.

    I got my first opportunity to really ask my wife for forgiveness. I say "really" because it was the first time that I did it without justifying my sin and actions that caused her not to trust me. That was when God started teaching me about "owning" my fault completely and letting go of my pride.  

    I like your illustration of the capsized life, I look at it as siting in a life boat waiting to be recued, seeing a boat a long way off and a storm hits. you have two choices 1. Stay in the boat and wait for God to recue you or 2. Jump out of the boat. Our spouses have jumped out of the boat. We caused them to feel that they had no other choice. We are dealing with the outcome of our sin against God.

    Hang in there, God isn't don yet, you have a wonderful opportunity in still living together.

  • Don't worry about timing.  God is never late.  

    That's  great you chose to listen to God vs your fears and put Him above your fears and did the dare.  This  is when the biggest growth comes, from doing the difficult dares.  

    Marriage has been written on his DNA for 34 years.  He can not escape conviction in not  fully coming  back to  the marriage.  God is working.  Keep letting Him by doing a dare a day, no more, no less.  

  • I blamed myself for everything at first. Then it turned into blaming my wife .Now I see that we both made mistakes and share the blame but the majority of the blame falls on satan. He is the one who infiltrated us over the years and turned us away from God. This is just a trip back to God. It's not easy because of the damage satan has done. It can be fixed. It's never too late. Your husband can be touched by the Lord. My own path took me 25 years but God's will for me has prevailed. I'm sure I hurt many people on the way, including my wife but all I can do now is live my new life in Christ and go forward knowing that I will be with Him someday. It's completely possible to bring our spouses back to us but only by God and only in His time.

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