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Day 22 Love is Faithful

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Today was a day.  Its my birthday and I didn't want it to happen.  Not because of what age I am, but rather the unknown of being with my husband but him not wanting to be with me.  I didn't want to have any expectations.

Work was overwhelming, my team spoiled me rotten and the more they did the more I was sad and broken.  

At one point HR called me and told me there was a delivery they left in the lobby for me.  My heart was racing, had he sent me flowers like he does?  really?  I got to the bottom of the stairs and there was a beautiful arrangement of flowers.  I almost ran to the card, I opened it and it was a lovely unexpected delivery from my brother in Australia that has been the only one I have talked to about what was going on with my husband and me.  He doesn't know much except how sad I have been because I hurt him.  He doesn't need details he is just worried about us both as he has loved us both forever.  He is very worried about me as well personally.

I brought them upstairs and just wanted to weep.  Then I realized how selfish am I, he already told me he wanted to celebrate and take me out to dinner.  Why should I expect more than he is capable of giving right now.  It is a blessing from God that he is still here and still loves me after I was selfish towards him.

when I got home both him and our dog had gotten me cards and a present.it was beautiful. Then something happened I wasn't expecting.  He opened up to me and shared from his heart everything.  It was beautiful and scary and sad and awful.  But it was beautiful.  I shouldn't have said anything, but I did and it was the wrongest thing to have said.  What would have been perfect was to remember today's dare and say that to him.  I had said it in the morning to him though and thought it would seem insincere if I said it again.  I should have, that is what I felt to say.  but NO, I went on the defense.  What an idiot.

we talked a bit more after that and he took me to dinner.  We came home and talked some more.  I don't know how he felt the evening ended, I felt loved and closer to him because of all he shared.

I thank God for a husband who isn't giving up even though he is broken hearted and sad.  I thank God for the work he is doing in me and in him and for the promise I have hope in.

 

  • It's crazy how our flesh leads us to following our emotions when we know to lead your heart.  

    The flesh had you in the negative for what could have been a fun filled day of being spoiled and  enjoying a better workplace than many of us have.  but then the Spirit of God led you to remember to be grateful for your husband wanting  to spend time with you.  what a blessing.  

    As God is using this trial to  build your  relationship with Him, He's desiring to do the same  with your husband.  pray God's will is done in his life.

  • Don't take my use of the word crazy in the wrong light.  I meant it is surprisingly easy to get back to letting our flesh allow our hearts lead us instead of us leading our hearts.  this is something I struggle with many times a day.

  • It's impossible to make perfect choices, especially considering the circumstances. Maybe try to take a few seconds to think before responding. I know I used to react immediately to things, especially if they angered me. That few seconds can make a huge difference. Remember a gentle answer turns away wrath but a harsh word stirs up anger ~ Proverbs 15:1.

    It's so awesome that you two are hanging on to each other. Just take it slow and let God work.

  • Praise God! This is what I have been praying for in your trial.

    MH and my girls didn't do anything for me on my birthday, and I wasn't allowed to attend MH's. so I sent her a present in the mail.

    Be thankful but remember to thank God for it and let him know how much you love him.

  • Thank you all for your encouragement and warnings, you are helping me so much.  

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