Collaborate without boundaries

Day 7 - what a journey

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The rooms of my mind... It was so very easy for me to write the positive attributes of my husband, I quickly filled the page and could have kept going.  It took a long time but I came up with 3 for the other page.

I shared one of the things on the list and he was taken aback but it didn't go poorly.

I shared with my husband the depth of what I am learning about myself as he found out I was doing the love dare and completely thought I was doing it to 'keep' him and or trick him into staying with no changes.

I had read in my book how to address this question and I did so.  He got offending that I asked him if he wanted to do the dare.  He said I don't need to I am right with God and how I am dealing with this situation.  I told him that this journey isn't the same for everyone.  For me it is a road back from a very selfish life I was leading.  For you it could just be affirmation of what you already do and know.  But I think it would be great for you to go through.

I've never lied to him about anything, yet he thinks  I don't speak the truth about things now.  It hurts.  He is the best judge of character I know and for him to think my character is so bad, crushes me.  But it crushes me more that God thinks that about me too,

  • you must have an updated book from what I have.  I wouldn't bring it up for him to do again, unless he showed an interest. So often when couples try to do the dares together, one tries harder and then gets discouraged because the other spouse ins't trying as hard.

    He may be saying you don't speak the truth just to get at you, to get you to break.  so he can say, see the changes you are making aren't real, they're just temporary.  So, keep consistent in the dares.

  • My positive list infinitely outnumbered my negative list. Makes you wonder how you got to this place.

    My wife never did find out I was doing the Love Dare but I guarantee she would have thought I was trying to manipulate her if she did. That's her favorite word. This is why we do things in secret. Like the Bible says in Mathew chapter 6. It's better to keep things between you and God. People want to insert their own thoughts into everything and we all know that God's thoughts are higher than ours.

    God sees you as his beloved child, no matter what you do wrong. I suppose we should look at our spouses the same way. Love them no matter what they do wrong. (We are not perfect either. Hopefully they learn to forgive us in the same way.) Gomer went back into prostitution after she left Hosea in the Bible. I don't think it gives us a time frame but eventually she was restored as his wife. Such a beautiful love story.

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