Aug. 1, 2012

Love is satisfied in God.

Today is different. God is able. God is working. You have to trust and just give it to Him - I surrender !!!

I felt like a different person today, from the minute I woke up. Something is changing.  I feel a confidence and peace in me that I haven’t felt in 6 months. Dare I say “joy”?

Today I began to let go ….and told myself that there isn’t anything I can do w/ this situation. I drove to work and blasted the worship music , I listened to I can only image and Amazing Graze on repeat as I booted down the high way and I really can’t remember that last time I was that happy. When I arrived at work, I felt amazing.  Trust me the last 6 months I have looked like death when I get to work, plus I have lost 30lbs … so ppl have noticed that I am not the person I used to be. Today I didn’t worry about a thing – I hope I feel this way again tomorrow …

I was on the love dare web site today and got a lot of reassurance from other peoples stories, Praise God!

I prayed about responding to my husband’s text from last night.  My heartfelt joy, so I proceeded to respond and play it cool - my text “Good morning! I am doing ok, how are you? “Husband - “I am ok – did you go to counseling last night” me – Nope, didn’t go” I didn’t feel the need to say anything else and God keeps telling me not to “Push” so that was it.

For the second day in a row – God keeps filling my head to start a group in my area for other couples in trouble. I think about what a crowd my husband and I could draw in …maybe husband will join me in time?? So while at work I emailed my church and mentioned the idea in an email … we’ll see what comes of this one?!

I got so much work done today at the office, which is huge because these days I am too busy having a pity party for me. Once those “parties” start, they are hard to leave LOL . I was so focused today, it amazed me that once you do just let go of those troubles and leave it to God, you feel like you are out of the fog.

Such a great feeling day, thought I would wax my eye brows on lunch and get beautiful … life was feeling wonderful.

4:30pm - Mr. Husband sends a text “Hi Alison – hope you are having an ok day? Can I come over later?”  I actually had no idea what to do with his text, I didn’t want to ruin my perfect day … I waited …but then ping, ping, ping they kept coming … “maybe we can have a drink tonight in our backyard” , “or a hug” , “or a nice firm handshake” , “high five perhaps”  … at this point I am laughing so I respond (decided to be funny too) me – “ straddle” “upper cut” him – “ in which order”  me – “HA!” him “ all of the above perhaps “ “ can I call you? “ me “ yes”

He called and asked if he could come and cut the grass and do some yard work and take the dog for a walk w/ me. I said “sure see you later”  I’m not gonna lie, I was worried – I thought he was coming over to bring the papers to relist the house. I again, blasted worship on the drive home …

I had to stop on the way home for some groceries, then it hit me – I can do dare 18 tonight too, he will be hungry after all that yard work (this again is my 3^rd try at this dinner, it didn’t happen the first 2 tries) … GOD IS ABLE!  I had a new recipe and I knew he would love it, so that is what I was going to make…. When I got home he was already there already knee deep in yard work. He helped me bring in all the groceries and even put them away, it felt like we were “normal” I think I said thank you 10 x  and had to tell myself to shut it, because it almost sounded robotic, but I was just so thrilled that we were interesting like we used to.

Then a neighbor pops over as we are out front and asks us “hows it going” and if things are “working out” - We said things are good ( we lie to avoid discussions) – the neighbor was so pleased.  Neighbor stats talking about his trip to Italy  - I say we were going to go there for our honeymoon but it was the rainy season, so we never made it – husband pipes up and says “ we are still going to go !”  I had to give my head a shake to believe what I had just heard. I went inside to finish dinner – I was so happy.  The enemy wasn’t here tonight. I cooked and even got changed for my “date”  we sat outside, we talked, and it was so wonderful. He told me that he has been thinking about me for the past 2 days. He also said that he woke up this morning and something was “different, like his temporary insanity had lifted “  …(I again gave my head a shake, while thanking GOD) I asked him to explain, he said “ I wish I could” AMEN! God is working is what I thought. Then I had to “go there” and ask about the Italy comment – he asked me to shake on it and said next fall 2013 , we are going to Italy. Umm, ok, I am excited.. I will go with this, since this is the best I have gotten in over a year – as if that wasn’t enough he also invites me to his friends b.day party and then asks if he can come to my Dads 60^th … I almost had a mild stroke and was also beginning to wonder if my husband was on drugs? What a contrast to 2 days ago when he was firm that we were listing the house again … ?!?!

We ate dinner and I even was able to ask him some of the questions in the book, we went on a dog walk – he asked if he could take my wedding rings to get cleaned because they look dirty … this night was feeling like Christmas morning…  my heart was over whelmed with joy.  We kissed, we held hands …

Praise God – if you put all your trust in God – that is the moment everything changes

But my husband flip – flops so I know tomorrow will tell another story ….

Pray, pray, pray