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Day 8: Love is not jealous

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Love is as strong as death, its jealousy unyielding as the grave. It burns like blazing fire.

—Song of Solomon 8:6 NIV TODAY’S DARE Determine to become your spouse’s biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday’s list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.

  • For today's Love Dare day eight; I have determined to become my wife's biggest supporter and will not even entertain any thoughts of jealousy.  And my wife recently got a settlement within a few months ago; and I am still glad that was a successful situation that she has and still is enjoying. She enjoys volunteering at the office twice a week at Muskegon Vineyard Christian Fellowship on Tuesday's and Thursday's from 10:30 a.m. until 1:30p.m. or 2:00p.m.

  • This day is been the worst of them all. Hearing her say she wanted out on Day 6 was bad enough but to see her not wearing her ring now really hits hard. This is really testing my "Unconditional Love". Seems we all want a little something in return for our actions, the last few days I have only gotten a roll of the eyes.

    I will continue on with this journey. At least I am speaking with God everyday again instead of just when I am in trouble or need something. If I would of just done this Love Dare in December I think we would still be together today....maybe not. God is having this happen a certain way for a reason, just wish I could find that reason.  

  • As I think what causing jealousy in me there have been many things. Most of it relates back to not feeling loved by him or having him being committed to our marriage.  There was no real security in the marriage. It felt like I was always the care-giver and then I would beocme the controller.  Not what I thought my marriage would be. I would want the list of negative things about me burnt, too. He is coming over to mow the yard and clean out junk, so I will look for an opportunity to tell him how glad I am about a success he has recently had.

    I've told two of our three children about him moving back in.  There were a lot of tears with my daughter and me.  She is very concerned that he will try to take advantage of me.  I told her that I am not the same person I was a year ago.  I am confident that the Holy Spirit is leading me and I am looking for the benefits for me with knowing the greatness of the Love of God for me.

  • i left my husband about a year ago because he had an affair and it resulted in a child. i love him but i didnt know how to deal with the overwhelming paranoia and coming jealousy, both of the woman and the child. i know my vanity played a part in that because i couldnt beleive he could do that to someone as fabulous as me with a woman i considered beneath me in almost every regard. i am considering reconsiliation and i am ready within myself to do what is needed to make it work, in humility and with God but i need to know how you can really get past the jealousy that will undoubtedly arise as this woman will always be part of our lives and it will enter my head that when he goes to see the child he might be cheating. could someone speak to this. thanks

  • I have not burnrd my list yet, but I will today. I have been doing the love dare on another website. I got really discouraged after a conversation we had yesterday and I have been searching for ways to stay encouraged since then. Praying for restoration........

  • Hey Everyone!  I’m on day eight and I have to admit that I don’t know if I like where things are going.  I feel that I have a solid marriage of 8 years so far.  I’m also a Christian and I decided to do the Love Dare challenge for 40 days leading up to Valentine’s Day.  Anyway, I thought maybe there may be a forum where I can discuss this with other people to get some opinions.  I feel like I understand what love is from a Biblical view but I must say “Love is Hard”.  The reason I say that is because doesn’t human nature have you take advantage of the kindness of others?  I guess I’m saying that I’m worried that I’m going to go through these 40 days and hopefully improve in some areas and my spouse isn’t going to try to make any changes in the future.   I know that my selfish feeling is the exact opposite of love and what Christ did for us.  He could have said, I know that the world will fall into sin, so I’m not going to send my Son to die on the cross.  I guess I’m asking, does anyone else feel this way that is going through it or has done it?  I’m NOT going to give up though.  I made the decision months ago to go though these 40 days because I want to be more like Christ.  I just pray I can be led by the spirit and not allow my human nature to take over.  Thank All!

  • I don't know if this is working. She ask for divorce yesterday and willing to work at it today. I am tires of the fighting. The hurt. The pain. I wish there was a way to say a magic word and fix this. I know irs Gods time but I am wire out. She is too. Please pray for us.

  • I tried to be her biggest fan today, but it seems like she is unreceptive. She said that I am not trying hard at all and said there hasn't been a "transformation" in me. I complimented her on a number of her achievements and did a couple of the previous dares today. She left to be with him and I am a bit jealous that she's there. Is this legitimate jealousy as sated in the writings as she is my wife?  It gets harder to watch her leave knowing that I love her more every day, and to see how our children miss her. I am doing my best not to get discouraged and pray for the Lord to open her heart again and for her to return to our home.

  • God is love. God is a jealous God. Therefore love is jealous. I embrace this as a means by which to keep my focus on our relationship. I am jealous of the time he spends with other women. I am jealous when he holds her while she cries or tends to her children's needs. I am the wife of his youth. 20 years later a young woman married to a man with a dangerous  personality disorder and my husband becomes her Hero. ... I can do the 1 Cor. 13. But I don't know if I will ever be not jealous!  And let me tell you "no record of a suffered wrong " is a hard bite to chew!

  • Today was hard. I have been following the day by day Dares and only in reading other posts did I see I had been trying to still control the situation. My wife has moved back to her mothers with our 4 year old son. I am staying with my cousing a few miles away. My heart is aching and I feel so alone and empty. I am praying more then I ever have... asking God for guidance and love. Tonight I really screwed things up. I told her how I was feeling. How I made mistakes and how I owned them. How I wanted her to let me back into her heart. That I could be what she wanted.

    Her response was that she understood, but didnt know if she even wanted that anymore. She saiid her role as a woman had been blurred and that I had done things to place pressure on her that she should not have had. I stopped worl because I couldnt deal with my boss anymore and stayed at home looking after the baby whilst she then had to get wotk to support us. She feels as if I took the role of being a mother away from her.  I felt like a coward.  I told her someone had to love her and that it may as well be me! I told her I did not want her to be with anyone else and that I would not be able to cope with that.

    Even as I write this, I see the manipulation caused by fear of loosing her. I am lost myself. I moved state ( As her parents lived in a different state to us) left behind everything that was comfortable and familiar to follow her. Now I feel I am here alone. I am trying ... but I fear it will not be good enough.

    I would appreciate some guidance, I dont know how to be without her, yet I am the reason she is not with me :0(

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