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Day 5: Love is not rude

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He who blesses his friend with a loud voice early in the morning, it will be reckoned a curse to him. —Proverbs 27:14 TODAY’S DARE Ask your spouse to tell you three things that cause him or her to be uncomfortable or irritated with you. You must do so without attacking them or justifying your behavior. This is from their perspective only.

  • Love Dare Day Five: From my wife's perspective the three things that irritate my wife is----

    1. Snoring

    2. Me leaving a messy room or living room in our apartment.

    3. Me antagonizing or teasing my wife; when I know it upsets her.

  • I was having trouble with this one and this Leslie holmes said something that I wasn't thinking about and made a huge difference to my thought process in that in doing the Dares don't be push on the person you are doing them for, but let God take care of that part. Do them to learn and change yourself and better yourself with God. He's in control of everything anyway.

  • Why should i be so scared about day 5? Maybe because I don't understand the way he is acting. So I am uncertain about the response. Not much has made sense in the last 6 days since this part of life began...I know the Word works. I stood on the Word 22 years ago, before the love dare book... I believe the Word will work this time! Thank you God, for your mercy...

  • Day 5 required some bravery on my part.

    My husband said he hated the fact that I am unyielding when I make up my mind about something

    He also hates that I don't notice things that he does (he can tell from the way the car's engine is running that something is wrong; I am oblivious)

    Lastly he hates that I don't have rock hard flat abs

    Hearing them hurts a little but I had heard them before...I am working on it ........

  • my wife stated that she is irritated when i don't take initiative on health issues with myself .  I don't usually go to a dr or dentist and my wife has to make appointments.  Also she says I am close minded about things but when asked for examples she did'nt give any.   Now she did also say during this conversation that she notices for herself that she is quick to anger with me and yells at me allot.  She stated that I don't deserve this and maybe shes bejond help and is'nt menat to be in a marriage (our is her 3rd)   any thoughs on how to address this?

  • Day five. This was a very very hard thing for me to ask. But ask I did, later in the the day and just before he went to bed. His reply was painful for me to hear. He said the only thing that irritates him about me is how I have shut him out of my life.

    We used to be so happy together, but now, I feel lost. I hope that this journey will help me find direction again. I used to feel like I was being guided and shown the way, but I haven't felt that for a while. I have grown away and need to find the way back.

  • Well, my husband said my looks, voice, and my attitude towards other people.

    Kinda of hurtful, but I can manage.

  • Well, I debated on asking my wife to do the couples love dare with me.  I was worried that we would both be anxious waiting for the other ones dare thought.  

    Well Jason, I was going to suggest maybe trying it since it seemed she opened the door by admitting that she was quick to anger and yell at you.  My wife is the same, but I don't think she realizes, or cares.

    I approached her about it.  She didn't understand how it worked.  I told her I had been doing it the last four days, and she blew up at me and said it would have ment more to her if I didn't tell her, and that I am just looking for recognition........wasn't my best idea I guess.

  • I asked my husband for the three things.  He assumed I was picking a fight and in turn told me he feels a pull to live alone and only worry about our daughter (more or less discard me).  I had to really focus on God.  I told him that all I knew was that I love him and want him here.   It is so hard to constantly be strong despite the hurt knowing that you are the only connection to God - who is holding you together.

  • He hasn't commented yet he said he doesn't want to visit that right now. so I guess I will be stuck and confused until he responds.

  • I asked my wife the questions, but she said there is nothing. How do I take this? I even asked her to take her time an write it down. She keeps asking why, but I dont want her to know I am doing The Love Dare. Does anyone have any sudgestions? Thanks.

  • Love is not rude...12/30/12 I was able to ask him to give me three things and he was not able to do so. I am not sure if that's because there are too many or because there are none or if he just do not want to hurt my feelings...either way I will pray that he lets me know. Will continue to ask him this question. But from past conversations and fights I can tell that 1) stop being the loudest person at the parties...by louder the one that stick out, not a loud mouth just I stick out. 2) stop telling our business to everybody  these are the ones that I thought of and I mentioned them to him still no answer...

  • This was the hardest dare so far to do, I wasn't ready to hear the answer but I had to just suck it up and ask...

  • This day was really good for me yesterday. I asked her and i actually heard answers that she has never even mentioned before, so it was a good eye opener. We also started talking about one of her answers and she actually said to me, "Wow, I never knew that." I am glad that hopefully I will be getting through to her. Im not giving up.

  • After reading some of your comments, I am almost afraid to ask. My husband still tries to spare my feelings, so I think he will give me small things, instead of real ones. I've started this love dare trying to avoid things getting any worse. I hope we are not bad enough for him to give me an intentionally hurtful answer, as some of you are experiencing. Right now, he is sleeping. I will make him breakfast to show him how much I appreciate him and I will ask him sometime after he is finished.

    I am not saying my marriage is better by any means. We have our issues. Really huge ones! I just refuse to let it fail if there is anything I can do to help it and being proactive helps. I hate that things have gottenthis bad! If they don't change soon, the chances of us making it are slim to none!

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