Collaborate without boundaries

Day 4: Love is thoughtful

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How precious also are Your thoughts to me. . . .How vast is the sum of them! If I should count them, they would outnumber the sand.

—Psalm 139:17–18

TODAY’S DARE Contact your spouse sometime during the business of the day. Have no agenda other than asking how he or she is doing and if there is anything you could do for them.
  • For Day Four: I actually washed the dirty dishes without any complaints.

  • This will be kind of hard for me to do considering we live apart.

  • Ok, this one is going to take some creativity for me...we still live in the same house and today is Saturday. We are taking out daughter on a date to the movies and the lunch. So if I am with him, how do I ask how he's doing and if he needs anything? He doesn't want me to ask him how he is feeling. He actually wants me to leave him alone. I can do it though...God will give me the perfect opportunity to complete dare. I am 100% confident of that.

  • Be sneaky... At the movie get up to go to the bathroom and lean over and whisper if she needs anythng then ask him the same.

  • Well I did get the perfect opportunity to ask, but not at the movies...it was later that day. He wanted to make cupcakes and I was going to the store to get something, don't remember now and I was able to ask him if he needed me to get the indigriants he needed and he said yes. Unfortunitely that was the good part of the day. I have a friend (actually the person who introduced my husband and I) that I had grown away from due to lack of communication and she sent me a facebook message and I decided to call her. We talked for over an hour. It was so nice. She suggested to me that I need to really think about telling Jeff he should go stay with his parents for a while. I rejected the idea immediatly, I mean how do I show him I love him if he isn't there to be witness to the changes. I spent the rest of the afternoon thinking about it and God gave me the answer. I had to let him go. He needed it. So we watched a movie and when it was over I told him that I thought we shouldn't be in the same house. I didn't know how to not touch him, kiss him, basically be his wife and he is so angry at me and me being in space all the time isn't helping. I told him I was terrified that if he left that he would never come home, but right now its not about me and what I want or need. Its about Jeff and what he wants and needs.  Our marriage has been all about me the last few years and it can't be. I am still terrified this is the end,  but with each day my faith strengthens and the scared feeling gets less. I can't make his anger go away, I don't have that power. I can change the person I am, and leave the rest to the God and Jeff. I am learning a lot about myself through this Love Dare and I can say for certain I took my husband for granted and when our marriage is strong again, I will never do it again.

  • This one was very hard for me. I don't have access to a phone for personal use when I am at work, and I don't carry a cellphone. I did catch him before he left in the morning if he needed anything. He asked if I could pick up something for him from the store, so that is what I did.

  • So keeping the peace through out this day seemed to be more trying, he is ever so trying to push my buttons, his rude comments towards me, I don't think he is aware that sometimes he really hurts my feelings. But through all of this I am still trying to remain patient. He confusses me though I did complete the dare I called him to see if there was anything I could do for him, he replied he wanted something from the store, so on my lunch break I went and got it and ran it home, I got the third degree Why I was home on lunch, I replied with I just thought it would be nice to see you for a few minutes. He was friendly to me the rest of the day, well as friendly as it gets for now. I pray that God continue to give me patience.

  • i contacted my husband today. i did it with a smile too. he didnt sound too interested but he questions everything i do. i have not told him about the love dare yet. i am trying to stay calm and patient with him

  • i contacted my husband today. i did it with a smile too. he didnt sound too interested but he questions everything i do. i have not told him about the love dare yet. i am trying to stay calm and patient with him

  • I have just started and I am not sure this is going to work....My wife has been out of the house for 3 months....

    Allen123

  • I have just started and I am not sure this is going to work....My wife has been out of the house for 3 months....

    Allen123

  • Ok. Called my husband and felt like a stalker. He wanted to know why I have been "checking up on him so much lately" and I said that I was NOT trying to do that. I am just trying to care about him. He said he didnt understand that because in the past I have acted like I dont give a (beep). I said that he is right and I have been wrong. I told him that I have been selfish in the past and I didnt even realize it. He said he understood. Later I made dinner. He came home and fell asleep. I was hurt so I told him I was going shopping. I went to my classroom and cryied. Thank goodness my counsler called. I felt so much better and when I got home my husband said the meal was great and we went for a walk together. We had a nice conversation about how stressed he is because of work. THe commmunication was better today. After his nap anyway. I have got to learn to be patient and stop freaking out.

  • I've been wish my girlfriend for 6 months and things recently began getting rocky. Really rocky. I've been adapting the book to suit my needs (not being married makes this somewhat of a challenge when interpreting). After reading these posts, I can feel better in knowing that there are people in more trying situations than my own, and it amazes me with the strength I see here!

    I sent my girlfriend a text (the easiest way to get a hole of her) asking how she was doing and if there was anything I could do do make her day better. She was short, as she has been lately, and it still kills me seeing the sudden change in her behavior. Nonetheless, this isn't about her response or giving up when she doesn't respond to any of the dares (so far, not good). Either way...love is a decision that I'll keep continuing to make, despite the despondence.

  • I am on Day 4. The tast seemed easier that I thought. My husband wants a divorce and he is moving out by mid October. He is currently looking for a place to rent. As he returned today from his search I asked him how it went and offered him to help on his search while he went on his business trip (leaves tomorrow). He was pleasantly surprised. My question now is... is it ok for your spouse to know you are doing the love dare? I am not sure if I should hide the book.... I normally keep a book on my bed stand, and I been keeping the love dare there. Should I put it away?

    Please help...

  • I am on Day four of this Amazing Tool...I have learned so much about myself, about my relationship with my Girlfriend, and my relationship with God. It isn't easy concidering we dont live together and are also split up now. But God has laid the Love Dare on my Heart so i know that this is his will for me. Please pray for me during this time its so hard and i miss her so much...She is truely the Love of my Life.

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