Be devoted to one another in brotherly love; give preference to one another in honor.
Whatever you put your time, energy, and money into will become more important to you. It’s hard to care for something you are not investing in. Along with restraining from negative comments, buy your spouse something that says, “I was thinking of you today.”
For Day Three: I made a powerpoint presentation for my wife Rebecca that had a white bengal tiger with animated butterflies.
Timothy how creative. You did not say what her reaction was. I am curious to know. Anyway this is a hard one because when yo think you are not selfish you just have not seen outside of yourself to know just how bad it is. I liked the writing style in this chapter and reviewed it on my blog site, www.liveeverafter.blogspot.com
I bought something for his car as he has said on two occasions, once on tv and once in a store, that he had heard good things about this product. When I bought it he was very happy as I was really listening.
I reread this dare 3 times.....I had to realize just how selfish I have been. I have been putting my wants & needs infront of those of my husbands, while he was putting his wants & needs behind mine...ouch. I am broken but I know I can be healed... What I will give to him is a simple bar of soap & a brick of parmasian cheese and a simple note letting him know I was thinking about him. He is in Korea right now, so far away....we do not have much money because I am not working or receiving unemployment, he is supporting me, going without. I can do this for him, I will also give him the space he asked for. I had to remind myself he asked me not to call all the time, something I find hard to do, but now I understand why, so I may never know what his reaction will be if I do not call him for a few days but its not about me. I realize this journey is about God, not me, not my Matthew, but "walking the talk" as my mother used to say. Actions do speek louder than words. I need to put the Lord & Matthew infront of myself. (in that order). God Bless
I managed to get through day 1 and day 2. Day 2 wasn't so hard. I made his coffee for him. We didn't see each other all day. He was working on someones computer. Day 3 is gonna be kind of hard, as we are totally broke! However, I will make him a nice dinner. Will this be ok for the dare?
Well this is Day 3 for me, and I have had the devil trying to bring negative things in the situation. But with God help he has not been allow too. My spouse is doing it with me so it makes it a little bit easier and I realize that I do start alot of our argument and for that I ask God and my spouse to forgive me. Me and my husband has been throught alot in our marriage so forgiveness is a hard time for me , and being patient, but I want let anything stand in the way of what God is doing to me and I thank him for it. Praise the lord
Well unfortunately, I had to start my day 3 over again about three times. It's very hard for me to learn how to be unselfish and not to put my feelings first. I am so use to my husband catering to me and now it's not that way anymore. I took his love for granted and because of that we fell apart, infidelity came into our marriage, and now we are separated. For so long my husband has been begging for affection and attention from me and because of my selfish ways I wouldn't listen. Instead I did everything I wanted to do and never thought twice about his feelings and the pain he was going thru. We have been separated for about 7 months now and it's really taking a toll on me. I asked him to come back home and work on our marriage but because of my selfish ways and no changes that I made within myself he wouldn't. It hurts so bad to know that my husband is out there with other women, but I refuse to give up on us. I have a great mother in law who helps me to stay motivated and positive. She helps me to understand and know that putting God first in my life is the only way, and that I have to learn how to trust and have faith in him. So far day 3 has been a good day, looking forward to day 4!
For my day3... I should say, i was preparing a good gift for her, I bought a flowers, a unique coffee mug with printed word sayin " I LOVE YOU ", a small teddy bear, a rare cactus plant, chocolate, & a cards with my own writin' indicating my true feelings for her,........and put it in her room......and when she saw it she just ignore it pretending that it wasn't there at all.. it really broke me up........but then i was still holdin. as i said & convince myself, I will past thru by the grace of GOD.....
Brokenheartedga, I read your comment, and think that his favorite dinner would be ok, of course I am new at this myself. I did buy my husband something he has been wanting for our upcoming vacation. I got yeah that's it, thanks. I need a new swimsuit for the trip, but it looks like I am going to have to pray I can make the one I have fit! We don't have a lot of extra money right now either, and wouldn't even be taking the vacation, but it has been paid for since March. Keep trying, do what is possible.
When my husband gets home for day 2 i will have the massage table out and ready for him. He has been asking me for months to give him a massage, since i am a CMT seems pretty easy to do right? no, as with the mechanic, who's wifes car is always broken, the CMT massages everyone but her husband...but today, he gets an 90 min massage. :)
I am wondering what I can do for Day 3. My husband and I had an ok day 2. i think i did pretty well at being patient and kind. We are separated right now and his vehicle is broken and i let him borrow mine (i'm using an extra vehicle that my dad has). He also told me that he didn't have anything to listen to on the radio and i left my ipod with him. We spent about 3 hours together with no fights and I didn't cry. I know that he doesn't want me to hurt but he still feels this is right for him. Anyway, when he dropped me off at the car i would be driving, i told him that i still wanted to see him regularly and talk to him. I also mentioned that i would like to go out on a date with him. (he's going out with a group of people on friday and he told me there would be an old friend there, it kind of sounds like a couple thing, but he told me he would let me know what was going on). Anyway, after i told him i still wanted to see and hear from him he said "I'll call you." I feel like he doesn't want me to contract him and i am wondering if i should leave him be until he calls. If so, I can't do this dare right now because i don't want to bother him and make him think i don't respect his wishes. Should i try to make it up the next time i see him? or try to do it today? We are not living together so its hard to give him a present without talking with him
Day three. I suppose that yesterday's dvd player might have qualified for today, but I did that before I read today's dare. So today, I thought and thought and tried to come up with something he would need and enjoy. I did get him a small gift, but the thing I did that made the biggest impression was to print out the job posting that he's been hoping to get. It meant a lot because they don't become available to print until they are almost ready to make a decision. He has interviewed several times and he feels that he will get the position. He is in need of a change and this was a good encouragement for him.
Day 3 when I got off work My Daughter called me that there was a Daschund Puppy that she was interested in but the moment I saw him I Knew that He would be the "Perfect:" I Love u give for my wife to heal her heart and get our marriage back on the road to healing from the Loss of Her 1st born to
He went to be with the Lord on May 29th 2010
Today started out great! Really great! I woke up, made waffles and coffee for Valery and myself. Did up some laundry of my own, and most all of her jeans. She was working all day and some errands needed run, so I ran out. While out, I stopped by Starbucks and got her aVenti Carmel Apple Cider, her absolute favorite, and I got her a cute polar bear cookie. She really loved them.
Through out the day while working and after she was done with work, I kept hearing her get loud and complain about her work, and getting vulgar. I was helping her post some things to sell on ebay, and she kept getting angry and yelling and swearing. I couldn't take it anymore and told her that if she was going to continue to speak abusively toward me, I was going to go to bed, besides I have to get up for church in the morning. So I went to bed. I pray daily that she learns to deal with situations without letting them overwhelm her and make her angry all the time.
Didn't end as nearly as well as I hoped it would.....See how it goes tomorrow.
I've been selfish.. instead of letting him in.. I let him out.. So now he has not answered any of my calls and I can't take it anymore.. I know I need to work on myself though.. There are things in my life that need to change. I'm also praying to God to help me find a way to show my unselfishness. I can't think of anything to do. He is not home. He said he would never come back. What can I buy that says I was thinking of you today?
So I started the love dare and day #3 is proving to be hard. Not because I wouldn't give of myself freely to my husband, but I feel like there is a storm in my marriage. That the devil is controling, I keep reminding myself that Jesus calmed a storm with his hand. Yesterday on day #2 he informed me that he is leaving for a 5 day trip to figure out if he wants this or not. What do I do? I want to scream and say you are being selfish, your acting like a child, you just quit everything in life. My heart is crying out to have what I want when I want it. I am struggling with today's dare obvisouly. May God calm my storm today.