The world is passing away, and also its lusts; but the one who does the will of God lives forever.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010. Day 24: Love versus Lust.
Lord Jesus; I put my faith and trust in You and you alone and I want the sure promises of God and a heart filled with His perfect love. And Christ Jesus help me to only focus on my wife's inner beauty and not judge her on her outward appearance of the world's idea of beauty and with God's help; help me to avoid internet searches that involve lustful thoughts that involve pornographic images of nude women that I should not be viewing at all. I should be focusing on the beauty of my wife and only have thoughts about her and only think of her and no other woman. Amen.
In a time of my own selfish hurt and needs, I turned away from my love and God. I cheated on my love during this time, I allowed myself to be manipulated and fell under the influence of Satan; temptation and lust. I have deep regrets for what I did, I even did during the time that this occurred. I have since then, lost my love. I have started my Love Dare journey and accepted Christ back into my life as my Savior and my Friend. I have removed everything physical that I can. I have removed thoughts from my mind. I asked God for forgiveness and I hope and pray that my love can forgive me too and to find it in his heart to give me another chance even though I do not deserve it. I ask that any of you who may read this also pray that he finds it in his heart to do these things for me, through God. I pay for what I did each minute that I am not with my love; I feel so lost and incomplete. I have never felt that wonderful feeling in my heart with anyone else . . . but with him, I don't just feel it in my heart, he touches my soul too and when he is near me, with me, I feel WHOLE and ONE. I need and miss him so dearly I can't even begin to express it. If I receive this second chance, I will NOT let God, my love, or myself down, or any of your prayers. I've typed this 3 times now, because I spent so much time typing, it reset and had me log back in so I'm not going to be able to say all that I would like to. God bless all of you and thank you for all of your prayers and support.