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Day 1: Love is patient

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Be completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in love.

—Ephesians 4:2 NIV TODAY’S DARE The first part of this dare is fairly simple. Although love is communicated in a number of ways, our words often reflect the condition of our heart. For the next day, resolve to demonstrate patience and to say nothing negative to your spouse at all. If the temptation arises, choose not to say anything. It’s better to hold your tongue than to say something you’ll regret.
  • Today I am starting the Love dare. Trying to say nothing negative. We will see how this goes...i tend to have a sharp mouth :(. I want to save my marriage due to a mistake I made 3 months ago. Need to put the past in the past....but it is so hard.

  • I'm new to this. My husband just recently told me he wanted a divorce. I totally don't agree with this. I've noticed that he has backslid from God, our church, and  now our marriage. I really want to save our marriage. I don't agree with his decision. I love my husband so much. I'm at my wits end right now. My mother-n-law showed us this movie when we 1st got married which will be 1 yr on the 28th of this month. Right now I'm shocked and I really don't know exactly why we're getting divorced at all. Since I'll be living with him for a while I've decided to try the love dare. I have faith in God and that he will change my husband's heart. I'll be starting this dare tomorrow since I'm not really sure if he's coming home tonight. Pray for us and God bless!!!!

  • Can this dare be done if you are not married and not Christian?  Having said that I am open to anything.

    I have been in a relationship for 2 years and my partner lives me unconditionally. This scares me. We have just come back from travelling for 14 months continuously with no jobs and I feel like I need space but also think that he is "the one" and I'm just really confused right now. I like this dare challenge because for the start it doesn't focus on feelings. I want and he wants  to be together and marry him and have children in the future but I can't understand why it doesn't feel good right now.  Are people just going to say to me that because we have lived together before marriage that we have sinned? I need to move on because if I am feeling this after 2 years it won't get better? Has anyone ever travelled with a partner for that long before and know how hard it is?  I know I want to be with him

  • Well I am going to start this today. Really new at this. My daughter is a month old on March 10th. While I was pregnant my husband left me 6 times. We eventually got things worked out...for a little bit. I then noticed him watching porn and confronted him about it because he'd turn me down for the women on the computer. The only thing that came out of that conversation was yelling, lies, him not admitting to it, a hole in our wall, and another threat for divorce. I have done everything for him. I took care of him and paid for all his bills when he was out of work. But I always ended up being the bad guy. And last night was the last straw. I was told I am above an inconvenience, a selfish b****, a child, couldn't be trusted alone with my daughter, and that I could see her when I get out of the Navy and move back home to Oregon. This astounded me because he seems to focus on his xbox more than this precious gift that we have. I want to make this work because I love him and don't want my daughter in a broken home. But I know I am going to have to really suck up my pride to do this. Because he has been the one that has caused so much heart ache. Everyone in my family was shocked I didn't miscarry with all the stress I was under. I know this isn't exactly a good start to day 1 but I needed to vent. My problem is I bite my tongue because I don't want to yell and argue in front of her, but It just seems to cause more problems. I would love some advice from someone. I'm very young. I turned 20 two days after my daughter was born. Even though I'm married I feel like a single mother. I really need some words of wisdom and encouragement. I don't know what to do anymore. I hope something like this will help him step up to the plate as a father and a husband.

  • For Day One of Love Dare: It was hard and even though I wanted to say something negative to my wife; I chose not to say anything at all; because it was wiser for me to hold my tongue than to say anything that I would regret.

  • Today was day one for me of the Love dare. What I clearly understood before I started was through this I must keep my faith in God, I know he is the one who will give me courage and strength throughout these tough trials. My husband and I spent all day together, he even came to Church with our Girls and Me. I was very thankful for the way the day went. I was able to hold my tongue through every situation today it was wonderful. Finally a day without fighting, Thank you Jesus!!

  • Well yesterday was day one for me, it went ok I was able to get through the day without snapping back with mean things.  My toungue is a little sore but thats ok.  Things have been pretty bad lately and we were at her breaking point.  She is familar with the love dare and tried to get me to do it with her about a year and a half ago but I wouldnt listen and just blew it off.  She has held on this long but not sure how much longer she will.  I dont want to loose her and we have a 14 mnth baby girl that is both of our worlds.  this is not a very easy thing for me to do but there is no doubt in my mind she is what I want and if this will keep her in my arms it will be worth every trying time 10 fold.  there are a couple outside bad influences as her best friend just went through a divorce last month and now has a new guy around and seems so happy that I cant help but think she envys her and yesterday her sister and her husband split up after adultery and a long period of unhappiness.  I know we are not to the praying part but God please help her to hold on for 40 days.  Just to see that things will be different.  

  • I watched Fireproof last night for the first time. My husband moved out a year ago.  He didnt' want to take care of himself or our marriage. I had gotten sick and couldn't get better due to the stress.  At first I was so angry and full of resentment because 'I was stuck' taking care of everything.  The Lord kept prompting my heart about forgiveness.  Well, I had him over at the holidays, kids birthdays, etc.  He has re-established his walk with the Lord and gotten reconnected with our kids. I don't feel anger any more, nor do I feel love.  I have found that I still struggle with issues.  Such as what if during my surrender to the Lord, will he tell me to go back to the marriage.  Then I felt that 'he would come out smelling like a rose' ... always me being convicted and changing. Then today, I felt the Holy Spirit prompt my heart and say that the changes in me are not for my husband's benefit but for mine.  Tat I could have a better love-life with my Father, my Lord Jesus Christ and the Holy Spirit.  Today is Day 1, I may not see or talk to my husband, so I will not speak negatively about him to God or to others.  

  • I saw Fireproof for the first time at the recomendation of one of my brothers in Christ. I was brought to tears, I cried because I truly realized I was not loving my wife the way God wanted me to, and I have a long way to go to fix it. After watching the movie I know I cannot fix my broken marriage myself I have to let God fix it! The biggest mistake I made was to assume it could not be fixed and seperated from her, now not only do I have to regain her trust in me I must also get her to see the change in me. So my question is, how can i preform the Love Dare if I'm not in the house? I do see her at church though.

  • This chapter was amazing to me. I am up to the last 3 chapters and honestly I think everything comes back to Day # 1 "Patience". This book has been so helpful I have told many people and forums. I also have samples of the first 5 chapters reviewed on my blog site, during the month of February to encourage people to buy this book..

  • i really wish i would have done this along time ago perhaps my marriage wouldnt be in the trouble it is due to me being a moran and cheating on my wife of ten years going on eleven in just a couple of months.we are trying to work on things but the damage ive done is pretty ifany one could pass onsome advice my way as i start this dare id love to hearfrom you all.fixing my marriage means everything to me.

    day 1 has gone good so far

  • edward: I have been married almost sixteen years as of April 23, 2010 and that date will be my wife's and I sixteenth wedding anniversary. And I can honestly say that even people whom are Christian's still struggle with their marriage. I guess the only encouragement that I could give you for the forty day love dare challenge is to rely on God; try your best to be a better spouse to your wife and as far as the damage goes in the marriage; it can be repaired in time through forgiveness, reconciliation and Christ Jesus' love. Even though I have been married for almost sixteen years there are still some things I am learning about my wife and I really desire to have God in our marriage and for us both as husband and wife to have unity within our marriage.

    I pray and hope this helps and encourages you.

  • Hi Edward. Does your wife know about your infidelity and how long has it been since you have stopped cheating? Sounds like you really want to change.  I have finished the love dare and if anything it has taught a perseverance of forever. To do all that you can to be dedicated and to serve your bride. I can tell from what you wrote that she loves you, as she doesn't seem to be leaving. That's the best news! Keep us posted on your journey.

  • Edward,

    I think you first really need to forgive yourself. Maybe talk to your wife and explaine how you felt and why you did it. Don't make excuses or try to put blame, but calming talk to her about it. Prove to her that you are sorry and that you are in it for good this time. Forgiveness is a hard thing to come by, yet very powerful. Good luck and I hope the Love Dare works for you both. God Bless

  • Edward,

    I think you first really need to forgive yourself. Maybe talk to your wife and explaine how you felt and why you did it. Don't make excuses or try to put blame, but calming talk to her about it. Prove to her that you are sorry and that you are in it for good this time. Forgiveness is a hard thing to come by, yet very powerful. Good luck and I hope the Love Dare works for you both. God Bless

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