Your entry warms my heart and puts a smile on my face.
Since you won't have contact with him this weekend - I would use that time for prayer. Still pray about the dare...they can still be done in God's way no matter what the situation even if it "physically" can't be done it can "spiritually."
And I know the excitement is every time you see him. The dare more focuses on the lifetime of leading that greeting daily.
So be prepared when things change to reconciliation it still must be a blessing each morning.
Thank you. I did take the last three days as time to pray and read my bible and meditate. I learned a lot about myself.
That needs to continue. Putting margin in your life with Christ will strengthen your realtionship with Christ and will help you through the daily trials you may have.
My husband comes home every morning to deliver papers. He arrives shortly aft 6am. I decided to get up at 5:30 to fold his papers and prepare a breakfast for him thinking he could use the time he would have spent folding papers to eat. I greeted him with a smile and a welcoming good morning. I offered him breakfast. He stuffed papers into his bag and then asked why I was being so nice, implying it doesn't make a difference. I said no reason, just to because. I reoffered hi breakfast (which was already at his place at the table.) He rejected breakfast and walked out the door shouting a lame thank you. Realizing these dares are for my personal growth I bit back the anger of rejection and tears that tried to follow. I thought todays dare would be easy. I suspected he would reject breakfast and question if I was trying to get him back. My kids watched all of this and are a bit concerned that if he knows I am trying to be nice to him, he will never come back. I tried explaining to them that no matter what is going on with Dad, God wants us to treat everyone nicely, even if they reject our gestures. I keep telling myself I need to give my marriage to God so He can work on it. I keep repeating that to myself everytime I want to do something out of desperation. It is just so very hard to do.
The reason it is so hard is because you are now trying to stop your flesh from the worldly things it has been believing for your entire life. You have done things your way for all this time, now you are handing it over to Christ.
Read the appendix about leading your heart. You have been following it in everything since birth. Now you are going to lead it. Yea that is extremely hard. But each day Christ is molding you more in His image. You will be humbled, you will be rejected (just as He was).
But you will be blessed.