49—Love still Makes Good Impressions
“Think of a specific way you'd like to
greet your spouse today. Do it with a smile and with enthusiasm.
Then determine to change your greeting to reflect your love for them.”
Since there was
no communication between my husband and I today, the dare was not completed.
However, since this dare during round 1, I have changed my greeting to reflect
my love for him. How can I not now? I am always so excited to see him since it
is rare these days.
I cannot get my
husband off my mind. I have been working very hard on the house with the help
of my family. I would love for him to be a part of it, but know that is not in
God’s plan right now. I am doing exactly what God has instructed me to do. I am
fighting writing this right now
because I do not quite understand why He wants me to open up about it. It is
going to be more of a “what the heck are you doing Jenn?” for those reading
it…or so I think, but here it goes—
Three weeks ago
at 430 in the morning—the day my husband was moving out—I woke up with this
INTENSE feeling of God wanting me to write down exactly what He was telling me.
I have never heard His voice so clearly in my life until that moment. I went
and grabbed a card out of my stationary collection and started writing exactly
what He was telling me. It was in the form of a letter from Christ to me. I
don’t remember exactly what it says right now because I have sealed it and am not
to open it until told to do so, but a part of the letter was a list (He
obviously knows my love for lists—LoL). I was to do exactly what was on it—putting
ALL of my TRUST in Him. A few of the items consist of our remodel that has been
at a standstill since our “marriage blow up”—
Do not contact
[your husband] unless told to do so
Make one more
interior painting as if you are keeping the house
To end the
“letter” He said, “[Your husband] will be joining you in Hawaii. (We are going
to Hawaii as a family in May and as of right now obviously my husband is not a
part of it…yet)
I have tears
streaming down my face as I even write this now. It is a whole lot of mixed
emotions from excitement and happiness to fear and even a little bit of doubt
(being honest). In a way it is all still unreal to me, but I have not veered
from what He told me early that morning. I have been working diligently
following His plan.
when I wrote my journal entry for “buy your spouse something unexpected that
says I was thinking of you,” I had thought I was not able to complete the dare
that day. Once I was done with my journal entry I started doing my bills and in
the stack was my mortgage bill. It hit me—I am completing the dare today. I am writing a check for one more house
payment. If that doesn’t represent, “I’m thinking of you,” then I don’t know
what does. My husband has absolutely no clue about any of this. When he comes
by on occasion to pick up his mail he is thinking I am getting the house ready
to sale because prior to him moving out we talked about putting it up for short
sale since I cannot afford it by myself. I had no clue what God had in store
for me though.
No matter how
much I am feeling all of this is stretching me financially, physically, and
emotionally— I am trusting in Him with everything
I don’t expect
anyone to really understand this, which is where some of my fear is stemming
from. I have told very few people about it. Two of which I asked to just trust
me and they have every step of the way as they’ve been so graciously helping me
with the house. Even as I close this entry I still feel God reassuring me this
is what He wanted me to write this evening as He knows I am still questioning
the ‘why’ of it as I even write these last words.
This song has
really summed it for me during this journey - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=emgv-VRtMEU
You do not have to keep it from others. This is all part of your story, your testimony. Trusting Christ in every thing in your life. How awesome is that. Do not worry what others think. Deep down they wish they had the same testimony as you!