Day 9—Love Makes Good Impressions
“Think of a specific way you would like to greet your spouse
today. Do it with a smile and enthusiasm.”
At first I was not sure how this was going to
take place since I never know if he is going to stop by the house or not, but
he ended coming by a couple times, so I was able to greet him enthusiastically with
a smile. I simply said “hey babe.” It wasn’t too difficult for me to do this
because I am happy to see him any chance I get regardless of the heartache it
I am finding out that The Love Dare is really
good at reflecting on one’s own weaknesses. The chapter notes “a loving
greeting can bless your spouse through what they see, hear, and feel.” This
would be an area I certainly could have/can improve on especially when walking
through the door after a day of work.
Another piece of the chapter that captivated me
and is reiterated often in this book is that love is a choice. I have always
questioned that statement until I was given this situation. I continue to
CHOOSE to love my husband even in the most difficult time of our marriage—the falling
apart/ending of it. It is no longer thinking I am a victim or it is about having
self-respect. Been there done that. It is about doing what God has been
preparing me for—showing HIS love unconditionally.
This leads me in to the rest of today—it ended
up being a bit more emotional than I expected. I tend to feel a bit more
vulnerable when my husband is around. We talked a lot more about the house,
which makes this that much more of a reality. The blessing I am taking from it –
he is thinking about options other than what he originally told me (foreclosure
or moving out/sticking me with the payments). He didn’t like the ones I
suggested (stay where he is since it is rent free or stay home while we try to
sell the house). However, he did bring up refinancing in his name, so he would
keep the house. It is HARD to talk about this type of stuff, but I know I
cannot ignore it and KNOW God is with me. He did ask for help with filing. I
kindly said I would not help with that piece since I do not want to divorce. He thankfully understood.
He also told his mom and brother today. I saw
his mom Saturday afternoon. Mind you, that morning is when my husband told me
he wanted a divorce. She stopped by to pick up her mail (her and my father in
law are also in the midst of a divorce—ironic to say the least). Prior to her
coming over I prayed for wisdom because I was not sure what to say or not to
say. She asked where my husband was. I let her know that he was staying elsewhere
and left it at that. It was not my place to tell her what her son had decided.
I then listened to her talk about how horrible my father in law is. That is the
best I could do—just listen. After she left she had texted my husband asking
where he was staying. He ignored it. When he stopped by yesterday I encouraged
him not to because she has a right to know and is also still going through her
own hurt, so it is not the time to not be talking to her. So tonight he went
out to dinner with them and shared the bad news. Now everyone knows.
I still have a sense of peace despite the
heartache as this gets more difficult because no matter what the outcome, God
has my BEST interest in mind. I am constantly reminding myself of that.
You will be amazed how things happen in this journey. All this stuff, him telling everyone etc... I have seen it so many times. God has a plan for you and for him. Although you have many humble moments through Christs molding, he will as well. The real question is he willing to accept it?
Again, right now focus and grow your relationship with Christ. And one times of concern come, remember this. BE STILL... FOR I AM GOD! That will always remind you that it is Christs plan that is working, dont get in the way.
And when he brings up filing, great job letting him know you will not help with that, but take the time to have him understand not only do you not agree with it, but your walk with Christ has caused you to Choose not to allow that to be an option.
Can I ask - in your situation did it come to the point where you were served divorce papers? I am praying about every step of this process and am scared to move forward with anything in regards to the divorce. I know I CANNOT get in the way of God's work, so I CANNOT manipulate anything. My husband wants me to email our realtor (family friend of mine) regarding options about the house. I said I would (if this is going to happen I want to make sure it is in someone's hands I trust), but I am having a really hard time bringing myself to send the email. I don't want any part of moving "this" forward. I have prayed about it and I am feeling a sense of peace with sending it, but I am not going to lie - it is still scary. I can't ignore reality and I cannot sit here and worry about if I am doing every little thing right. I just need to keep trusting in God. I am sure I just answered all of my questions myself, but I still like your input since you've been through this and have a great deal of wisdom!
Never got papers. She first wanted me to do it, but I told her that because I am in a walk with Christ, I could not put her away. But I would sign the papers if she sent them to me. The reason I agreed was because she left and was moving forward with another.
But because I was so ingrained with Christ in my life and trusted everything He brought to me, I am sure this is why everything changed.
So here is a question that may help you answer. By agreeing to send the email, but yet not wanting to do it.... Because you want to "not trust anything in this situation" are you trusting Christ? If you trust Christ you will know that no matter what ill intentions your husband may have, Christ WILL ALWAYS come through for you.
I guess to expand on that reply. You must take a stand. One that shows glory of Christ in your life. If you do not believe in what is going on (divorce) then do not be apart of it happening.