Day 8 Forum: Love is not Jealous - Recent Threads

Really tough to do - Day 8

sucramjh — Sat, 02 Feb 2013 16:26:48 GMT

I'm on Day 8 and it has been a challenge so far. I don't know how to continue much further since she is 1900+ miles away and and most everything I have been doing has been over the phone or mail. We have been married almost 21 years, She left me back in September to "Take care of her mother" I found out she had been having and "emotional affair" with her High school sweetheart that lives in the same town as her mother that she has admitted having. She says I was controlling, disrespectful, angry, etc and needed to change or she would never come back. She has called it off with me over the phone several times and changed her mind usually within 24 hours. She continuously defends "him" saying he's just a 3rd party to talk to even though I know he has been spending the night ever since her mother passed away. She still talks to me everyday and says her goals are to tell me she is coming back home and that she wants to be able to tell me she loves me again, I started the dares in hopes to connect with Jesus and hopefully to make me a better person. It seemed everything I was doing in the past was not working, I have NOT told her about the Dares but she has asked why I'm doing somethings and I respond with you will know when I it's time. I have the movie and book packaged up and ready to send to her when God lets me know.

The main problem I am having is trying to complete dares that involve being with her or seeing her.That is IMPOSSIBLE considering she is so far away and I don't know if this other man is even in the picture with her anymore. I have felt change in my life but have a long ways to go. ANY advise on what to would be MUCH appreciated.

My Wife is Controlled By Satan

ModernDayHosea1 — Mon, 08 Oct 2012 13:16:27 GMT

My story is very similar to those I have seen on this site. My wife and I have been married for 24 years with the last 5 years being the most challenging. We have 1 daughter (19 yrs) and 2 boys (16 & 15 yrs). My wife continues an adulterous relationship while trying to keep it a secret. While meeting with my pastor the other day, I told her I was confident that my wife was no longer seeing this other guy. Her reply was that she knew different as members of our congregation have seen my wife with this guy on a couple of occasions. I was surprised, but not really. I did confront my wife and she did not deny it. This marks the 3rd time she has done this. Sometimes I feel like a stupid doormat and other times I feel a tug from God to go after her. The past few times I have tried to control the situation. After reading many of the posts, its time for me to let go and let God. I'm praying for God to give me the strength to handle His will, whatever that may be.

With that in mind, do I cease all communications with my wife except for the dares? I have the urge to continue to talk about possible resolution. I feel that this other guy (an ex-marine) has my wife brainwashed into thinking that marriage is nothing...do what you want to be happy. I am so frustrated because my wife has done a complete 180 and has a cold heart. I almost feel its my duty to save her from Satan...Any words of advice out there?

Mark

Seems Hopeless-Day 8

KimberliR — Tue, 21 Aug 2012 02:12:58 GMT

This morning I woke up to a text saying that he saw how it was and that he was going to petition for divorce. He claims that I was trying to ruin his federal"career"becuase he was happy for once.He was telling me becuase I turned him in to his chain of command, there was no way he was going to take me back. He had said he had been thinking about taking me back just so he could be with our son full time. He claims he has been unhappy for a long time, but i find it hard to beleive that he would stay with me being so unhappy. So I will be seeing a lawyer tomorrow for a consult. I dont want a divorce but I want to protect my interests as i have a child to support and depend on his support right now. I will know more of whats going on tomorrow . I did part of todays dare as I burned the lists of negatives but i could not not share joy about any acheivments he had recently accomplished. I am going to keep doing the dares and praying for gods guidance and wisdom.

Day 48 - Love is not Jealous

BeckyA — Fri, 10 Aug 2012 13:34:23 GMT

There hasn’t been any recent success that my husband has had that I haven’t already recognized. Last week, he received recognition at work for how well he’s doing, but I made a big deal out of it at that time.

I chose, instead, to focus this dare inward. I have to get past the jealousy of who he’s talking to on the phone. I always assume the worst when he could just be looking at the latest article from National Geographic. I prayed the temptation prayer from Power of a Praying Wife. I felt so much better! I have no control over who he’s talking to, but I can pray for him to make good decisions about who he’s focusing his attention on. Best part was – once I started to let it go, he would open up about what he was doing on his phone. He would read me an article or mention something that a friend had said. Instead of asking what he’s doing on his phone, I will pray this prayer. I have felt, recently, like it was okay for me to ask what he was doing on his phone since he does the same to me. It’s not okay. It just keeps me anxious. This one thing has been my biggest hurdle in letting go completely.

Day 8 and real life issues

Manorahsjoy — Thu, 12 Jul 2012 11:52:36 GMT

It was not hard for me to destroy the list, I was just suprised that I was getting rid of it so soon.

I had to pray about what to say to him for this one and God reminded me of how he always talks about taking extra care of the elderly people that he works for at the home to make sure their "personal care" needs are not over looked.

So when he got home, he told me that he got a promotion and also a raise.

I told him that it was because he takes that extra care with other peoples mothers and fathers to make sure their hygeine needs are met that he has this promotion.

some people do not take that extra 60 seconds to double check that the people are notjust looking ok but that they are also feeling and smelling fresh.

He said, oh you mean how i put perfume on them?

I said yes, becuase that extra care makes them pleasant to be around and at the end of the day these are some bodies mother and father and they are being taken care of well.

He seemed very pleased at that and went on to share about some of the other things that are going on at his job. He talked for a while from one thing to the next and i just listened to all that he said and agreed here and there to show I was enganged.

I think the way to encourage him in the future is to bring up passed victories and pay more attention to the stories he tells me about his day at work now knowing that there are some things I can use to be his fan.

While doing this dare, I had to lead my heart because I am still not pleased with him not comming home the other night. I just feel that he thinks I will always be there, I always have to be understanding and accomodating and it makes me feel used.

Just becuase I have not asked him about it, and I do not want to, I feel like he's just floating through life and floating in and out of the house as he pleases.

It really makes me sick and he demands that I treat his freind, the single guy who has all the time in the world so what single people do , with respect and welcome him in our house etc.

i have told his freind that I dont like it when my husband sleeps out and as a freind, I expect him to be able to say somethinhg, do something, but he does not.

I feel that any freind of mine or my husbands should have the best interests of our home and family first before the freindship. But this guy and my husband are freinds for the long haul!

He is everywhere my husband should not be and I really do not like the hand that he has in the waywardness of my spouse.

My spouse has another freind, whom this freind hates, becuse this freind considers me and I apprecciate that about him. When he and my spouse are together, I feel safe. He brings out the king in my spouse.

But this other freind, brings out the fool in my spouse.

I told God that I do not know how to process my feelings towards this freindship and that I needed

His help. I told Him that I did not want to go to hell becausue of unforgiveness in my heart towards this freind of my spouse.

When I am home, he wont come in the house, but when I am not there he comes in the house and my husband seems to love all the attention that he gets knowing that we tollerate each other.

It makes me sick becuase it's like we are fighting over him an dmy husband is an attention seeker.

He plays down what ever I say about his freind, and he plays down what ever his freind says about me.

Its like, as long as the issue is not with him its fine and he is happy about the contention being about him. His freind comes in the house and says, "oh this guy is my best freind".

On his face book page, my husband is all over there with pics of them in drinking places.

I think they are both attention seekers to be honest and i feel sick about it.

I have such wicked evil thoughts going through my head, about it that I just had to cry out to God this morning.

I prayed this morning and asked God to release all the bitterness and hate that I have towards this freind of his. I told God that the reason I do not like him is because he does not care about me and ny welfare.

I asked God to give me peace about their freindship if He (God) has peace about it and that if He does not have peace about it then may He Arise and scatter all His enemies in Jesus name.

Its not that I want my spouse to be freindless, i just dont want him to have the SORT of freindship with this person any more.

To be honest, my spouses family have a history of putting finding value in freinds than in their family.

The family are all drinkers and sexually immoral, none of them are married and if they were, they commited adultery, lost their marriage and now they are either still adulterers or fornicators, either or with drink involved.

This is what I am dealing with in my head and heart.

I have prayed and laid all these before the Lord.

I dont want to be weighed down with bitterness.

At the end of the day, the task was complete and I am leading my heart to the cross, LORD PLEASE HELP ME.

Day 8 One step at a time

Missy is Faithful 2013 — Wed, 16 May 2012 16:46:53 GMT

Day 8 - Already did one part of the dare.....wished his a great day as today his new office is fully operational and he can call it his own......YAY! That is a great accomplishment....

no response but that is ok...i dont expect one......dont need one. I feel good just giving unconditional encouragement....

Next, i need to burn the negative list....i hate playing with fire. Will have to do it later :)

Day 8 and unsure

TamaraB — Fri, 20 Apr 2012 20:44:03 GMT

#48

LibbyWilliamson — Thu, 05 Apr 2012 10:04:33 GMT

Day 48 - Love is still not Jealous

Jenn — Sat, 31 Mar 2012 05:22:06 GMT

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Day 48—Love is still not Jealous

“Determine to become your spouse's biggest fan and to reject any thoughts of jealousy. To help you set your heart on your spouse and focus on their achievements, take yesterday's list of negative attributes and discreetly burn it. Then share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.”

I felt this dare was going to be a bit challenging since I honestly did not know of any recent success my husband has had. The one I knew of, I already shared in the first round. I prayed as I do every day for God’s guidance in completing the dare—how, when, and why (what success). After my counseling session this morning I got a feeling that I was going to see my husband today. I couldn’t determine if it was me wishing for it because I definitely was or God telling me so. After a busy day of running around I came home and took a nap. I needed to reenergize for some more painting of the house. I woke up, my Dad stopped by for a little bit, then I went upstairs to read the dare one more time and pray about it again since it was now approaching 600pm. Went back downstairs to grab my phone and kid you not, there was a text message from my husband asking if he had mail. Praise the Lord, he did. He then asked if I was home. I thought at this point, he was definitely not going to stop by since I was. I was wrong—10 minutes later he walked through the door. I couldn’t believe it. He was still in his uniform, so I knew it was going to be short. We talked small talk for a little bit and then I asked how work was going. He said good and that for the next three weeks he gets a 15% raise. I said that was cool and asked why. Sure enough his Sergeant asked him to be “Trooper In Charge” while he was on vacation. This means that my husband will be responding to any formal complaints, paperwork, etc. “...knock and the door will be opened to you" (Matthew 7:7)—there was my door WIDE open. I said, “That’s great!” In which he replied, “I guess.” I then exclaimed, “That is an honor—he trusted you to take his place. That means a lot. You should be proud of yourself!” He casually agreed. God forbid he show any emotion towards me, but I was certainly beaming inside and out. I couldn’t hide that. He left shortly thereafter.

I had tears of joy. I was so in AWE of what just happened. Seriously speechless. I was so grateful to be able to share that moment with my husband. The thought struck me today—I am more in love with him than I honestly think on the day of our wedding. It is only a love that can come from Christ. My heart is filled with gratitude for all the work He is doing in me, in my husband, and in my marriage.

day 8

Natalie — Wed, 29 Feb 2012 18:46:20 GMT

Day 8 Love is not jealous So I didn’t get the chance to talk to him today. He is busy doing things to get situated before his job interview. I wanted to do this in person, but I already knew that he would get weird on me. I know that is not an excuse for not doing it in person. I did try to call though but he was preoccupied. So I wrote him an email. This was hard for me today because there wasn’t anything real recent that was a success. So I wrote this instead: I know we are living separate lives and despite that i still have hope for us in the future. I know you are dealing with things that i don't understand, but just remember i'm always here to listen and be there for you. Even through all this I just wanted to let you know that I'm proud of you. Not just proud of who you were, but who you are and proud of what the future brings for you. I know God is going to bless you with so much in the future. With all that is happening you still strive to be a great father and I find that amazing in so many ways. Love you... Natalie It doesn’t specify anything, but it says how I really feel. And it’s words of encouragement in so many ways.

Day 8 - Love is not Jealous

Jenn — Mon, 20 Feb 2012 04:11:52 GMT

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Day 8 – Love is not Jealous

“Share with your spouse how glad you are about a success he or she recently enjoyed.”

Let the creativity begin! Now that my husband has officially told me he wants a divorce, is not staying at home, and is not talking to me, I have to find creative ways to do my dares. I prayed for wisdom and guidance. What came to mind shortly thereafter? The following email (my husband is in law enforcement)—

I have been thinking a lot about what has taken place recently and despite the trials at home, you have proven to still carry out success at work. A little something that came to mind –

S ervice with humility

U nyielding respect and protection for civilian rights

C reating a safe environment

C ourageous

E nhancing safety

S ervanthood

S howing integrity and accountability

I am proud of how well your JPA went.

Love Jenn

[JPA = Job Performance Appraisal]

I obviously don’t expect a response, but it feels really good to “cheer” him on in this way even without contact and knowing he is divorce focused. Another great reminder God has put in front of me – be my husband’s biggest fan!

Day 8: Ambivalence

HKOakland — Tue, 02 Aug 2011 06:55:09 GMT

So I'm not sure I quite completed the dare today. I could not think of what I was jealous about pertaining to him. I think it's good to be aware of our jealousy over all. I can think of situations where I have been jealous of others. I do know I need to be more supportive to him and about his work. I will make a conscious effort to do this more. I tried to ask about his work today but it was a challenging day and we were preoccupied with our earlier argument. I burned up the list. It felt good. It was a challenging day. I'm trying to stay calm when we are discussing hot button issues such as his affair and the other woman. I know I have the justifiable jealousy because of his affair. I think it's just good to be aware. I continued to feel some peace today and my friend mentioned how calm I was which is a good change! I hope to continue to make positive changes and let Christ mold me.

Dare 8

Jaime — Mon, 13 Jun 2011 23:32:45 GMT

For todays dare I told my husband I was happy that he played a show the other night, and that we would have loved to have been able to watch and that our son would have been so proud (played guitar with his brothers band at a local coffee shop). He said thank you and that our son probably would have screamed lol. He never plays in public like that so I know it was something he surely enjoyed. I ripped up the list of negative things and flushed it down the toilet, because I'm scared of setting things on fire, even paper haha. I feel good again today, it's weird how I feel different the last few days. I feel okay and at peace because I don't stress out over what to do to get my husband home, I just do my dares and that's it. I don't scheme things in my head how to get him to come over or consider coming home, I'm just letting things be and I have a strange calm about me I haven't had before. Thursday will be 3 months since we separated and I hate how every month feels like we're getting further apart and soon there will be nothing.... I hope god comes through for me again, he has never let me down when I've prayed about our relationship, everytime he has left me I have prayed and he has always came through for me, I really hope he does again, I don't want to live my life without my husband.

Round 4 - Day 128

Melissa — Thu, 12 May 2011 11:42:15 GMT

For today's dare I decided to call my husband to complete the dare. He didn't answer his phone so I left a message, "Hello (husbands name) I'm called to say that I hope you had a great night at work. I also wanted you to know that I'm so glad that you are a part of the Cole Outdoors team. I'm so proud of you for accomplishing this goal. You created your DVD and even got on TV. That is so great!. I hope you have a nice evening." (My husband is an avid hunter and last year he joined a hunting team where he is on a DVD and also on the Outdoors Life Network.) There was no response, but once again I completed the dare so I'm happy.

God has truly been working on overload in my life these past couple of days. He is filling the voids and taking the hurt and pain away. He is filling me with His joy and peace. My prayers are changing and my focus is changing. My desire to be more like Christ is growing deeper and deeper every day.

The storms come, but I have Christ. My desire to be like Him in every situation is stronger than ever. This morning I believe I sliped up. I found out that my husband called the person that I'm living with to make sure that I have a place to live until summer comes. We go to court on Tuesday to find out if I am able to get back into the house. If I have a place to stay, then my husband will be able to use that in court against me. He will be able to tell the judge that I have a place to live and that I do not need back into the house. I was upset. I was angry. My friend said that maybe he called because he was concerned. My immediate response was, "He's not being nice. I'm calling my lawyer. He put you on the spot so now he can use that against me in court on Tuesday." Holy Spirit, knock. knock. Who am I to judge. Who am I do question his motives.

My prayers? God, help me to deal with this situation as you would. Change me. Mold me. Transfrom me into your image. Help me to keep my focus on your Lord. Your will be done in this situation and in my life. Give me the ability to accept it and understand it. Humble me. BE MY LIFE!

My focus is on Him and what He want me to learn from this situation.

Round 3 - Day 88

Melissa — Sat, 02 Apr 2011 15:50:35 GMT

I knew that I wasn't going to be seeing my husband today so I decided to test him. When I look around our house there are a lot of deer heads hanging up. I was always so negative about them and said that I didn't want anymore hanging up and was negative about his hunting. I have a different perspective now. I am happy that he takes such pride in his hard work and effort that if put forth throughout the year to win his "trophy buck". So, I decided to tell text him and say, "The deer look so nice hanging up in the house. You are such an accomplished hunter and I'm very proud of you."

Day 8

Dave_71 — Wed, 23 Mar 2011 18:39:22 GMT

After having a great day yesterday (not because of my wife as I still received no response, but because of my Jesus), today had been a tough day for reasons I don't understand. I've had a few emotional days, but it is usually when I don't feel in line with God's will... when I'm seeking His will and I can't grasp it. I was a little more irritable this morning when I woke up and my daughter was too, but I caught as a trick from satan and bound him by my authority in Christ Jesus. But still, today just hasn't been right. I became ill after arriving at work and decided to work from home.... so I left. I prayed all morning and when I got home, I burst into tears while praying. What was God trying to tell me? After reading my daily devotional from Rejoice Marriage Ministries (I highly recommend, btw), it was clear that God wanted me to pray for my wife as no one else could. So I did. I prayed for her soul... her peace... her happiness and her families. I didn't quite know how to go about Day 8 though. I burned the list, putting those negatives away for good, but one of the problems my wife had was losing her teaching job and settling for a sales clerk job at a sporting goods store. There other things she had lost has well added to her low sense of worth. I was always bouncing back (by God's grace, I just didn't realize it then), but she never did. I never really took the time to understand why she felt the way she did. I just didn't feel right by not completing the dare though. I prayed and I felt that God wanted me to complete it so I asked him to give me the words to say that would lift her up.

"Losing your teaching job had to be very difficult. I never really took time to walk in your shoes until I had a few lessons in humility. I could not have done what you have done. You are determined and intelligent and you will find success soon. You should be proud of yourself."

I know she will because I asked God for it. I wish that I could share that with her, but I fear that it will push her farther from God at this point. I pray that God will use these words to lift her up.

Am loosing her

Lake — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 15:31:17 GMT

Am loosing her

Lake — Mon, 07 Mar 2011 15:31:13 GMT

Somewhat harder than I thought

HaveFaith — Tue, 25 Jan 2011 10:02:08 GMT

These dares are harder than I thought.

Yesterday I did my list, found it easier to do the negatives rather than the positives. Shows that my state of mind is in the depreciating room rather than the appreciation room. I asked myself why, it wasn't like that before. Since my husband cheated on me I have been wondering what is / was true. Everything seems a lie. What makes it worse is that I feel that he deliberately gets to be horrible to me. He is rude, selfish and negative. Maybe just to spite me or prove that the marriage isn't working.

I failed to do the second part, i.e telling him something positive about him. The atmosphere was just so strained it would have come out fake. As it is he is saying my question as to 3 things that irritate him proves that I don't know him after all this time. No matter what I say he does not listen or understand my reasons for asking.

I was reading back to one reply posted by Sean. You said the challenge in the dares is not the response but ACTUALLY doing them. That's very true. I will have to pray to God to help me carry out these dares to the later. I need strength Lord.

it's painful

Coffee Break — Thu, 13 Jan 2011 07:06:19 GMT

past few weeks i thought everything was ok already but behind those things lies reveals its own.... still, i thank GOD that i'm still in good a good relationship with my x partner's family.... they really want me to be legally part of their family because i'm not married to him altough we have 2 kids already....

GOD revealed everything.... i saw his girl in staying at his dorm.... i didn't hurt her or anything i talked to them both and told them what i feel.... now they're in an on-off relationship... now the girl came back again texting me and even calling me saying sorry, sorry in a different meaning.... saying sorry that she has to stick up with the father of my kids and she said it's all up to GOD what punishment they'll receive....

she bothers me during my working time.... it's taking my nerves.... so i just breathe deeply for a while and pray.... cause i can't concentrate anymore in my work.... how come people are so hard headed?? they're grown ups and they know the difference between right and wrong??

i posted this on my fb status so i'll always remember that i can't be doing what they're doing to get even:

***But we belong to God, and those who know God listen to us. If they do not belong to God, they do not listen to us. That is how we know if someone has the Spirit of truth or the spirit of deception.---1 John 4:6

***You adulterers! Don't you realize that friendship with the world makes you an enemy of God? I say it again: If you want to be a friend of the world, you make yourself an enemy of God.---James 4:4

***A lying witness will not go unpunished. One who tells lies will not escape.---Proverbs 19:5

***EZEKIEL 16

i still keep on praying for this storm to surpass....

i'm tired of crying and feeling this pain....

dare 8

forever512 — Tue, 04 Jan 2011 17:24:00 GMT

My husband e mailed me last night & texted me this morning that he had sent me an e mail. So it was my perfect way to respond & to include todays dare in it.

Something happened to me today :) In my husbands e mail he had included that he spent X amount of money. SO I was balancing the checkbook and WHAM- not only were we low on money, we were in the negative! Through God's great grace, I didn't panic. But I did text my husband to let him know so he wouldn't be surprised; he'll get paid tomorrow, anyway. Well, he DID panic. Of course he accused me of making that happen, but I didn't get all heated up inside & then have to calm down before responding... I was already calm & his accussations didn't phase me. It dawned on me how God was working within me & for that I am forever grateful.

I feel peaceful. I am not jealous of my husband, nor of anyone. I am so content with all that we have been blessed with- I don't think there has ever been a time when I felt this at peace with my blessings.

Completed the dare and contemplating my own issues.

Serilium — Mon, 20 Dec 2010 21:07:26 GMT

It felt good to burn my list yesterday morning. I prayed that the list of negatives would be removed from my mind. I pray that they will stay out of my mind. I have not been able to share with my husband a success that he has recently had. I will have to brain storm a bit on this, because he has chosen certain paths in life he doesn't have type of successes that I am familiar with.

however I just have to ponder on this reading today. I don't know if I have a jealousy problem or not. I do know that i have a "negative thinking" problem. Its not that I think negative things about my husband personally. I have a negative imagination problem. All of my life I have had an active imagination. Its gotten me in trouble in school a few times because I would be off in la-la land. But after my disaster of a marriage to my first husband I don't have positive day dreams anymore. Its more like daydream nightmares walking around in my head. I find myself thinking some days that I'm going to get fired from my job. Or I'm going to go home and have my house burned down. Or I'm going to pick my daughter up from school and they have "lost" her. Its not just passing thoughts. Its full blown images and scenes in my head, and they are so real that I can almost taste it. Considering the problems that my husband and I are now facing, when these start on my marriage I can see him in an affair with someone, or on the computer chatting up some pretty younger girl.

I have worked on this issue many times in the last 7-8 years. i know its gotten worse since my divorce. My ex-husband had a "secret" life and when I found out about it my whole world felt like it was shattered. I had been living a lie and didn't know it. That was when I remember this problem getting really bad. I was lied to so many times that I couldn't count and I started Imagining the worst of all things. I imagined calls from jail, the hospital, the police, him dying, all kinds of negative things.

Having talked to a counselor about this, I have been told that its almost reminiscent of PTSD.

No matter how much I have worked on it, prayed about it, It has never fully gone away. I don't know how to stop it. I've prayed for healing from this. I've prayed for guidance on how to release/expel this from my life my mind and my heart. It interferes with everything I do. I stops me from being the person God wants me to be.

Im only human

CA1982 — Thu, 02 Dec 2010 07:02:01 GMT

At some stage, over the weekend, I decided that I would stop doing the dares, since I believed that I was wasting my time. But then God made me realise that I was not doing this for me.. and so I have decided to start again. This whole thought pattern came about when T had to go to his friends funeral and then went out clubbing after and the next day had his end of year function at work and went out with friends after. On both days he came home early hours of the morning. Now my jealous side... immediately made me think that he was out with another women... since we have had this issue in the past, it was easiest not to trust him... but I had to keep reminding myself that I have to let go, and let God do his work. I never argued about it, or treated T disrespectfully, but my though pattern was pushing me to it.

I am a jealous person and I also dont trust him and I am sure that the 2 are not the best combination. This is hard to achieve when you have conflicting emotions and no matter how man times I give up, God keeps pushing me in this direction.

Maybe this is what i am supposed to do to try and fix things. So now, once again, I am back and praying for patience, perseverance and wisdom to complete this.

dare 8-day 48

forever512 — Fri, 26 Nov 2010 03:35:43 GMT

Happy Thanksgiving! And boy do I have a lot to be thankful for! I didn't even glance throught he list of negatives before getting rid of them, becasue they are not something I will or choose to dwell on. I am proud of all my husband does, but I will thank him for being such a hard worker for us, his family. I know it's not easy on him, but he is such a hard worker!!

I had lots of time to think about how lucky I am for all that I have been blessed with. We went to visit my husbands grandparents that live about 2+ hours away & I drove. Though I know the way, I accidently took the wrong highway & I didn't realize it until about an hour later! Luckily we were able to find a "short cut" back to the highway I was supposed ot be on! Needless to say, my husband began mumbling & grumbling & yelling at me for making a mistake. And thankfully I was wearing my sunglasses becasue I felt terrible & it was an honest mistake but he made me feel soooo bad & a few tears lined my eyes but never fell. But I didn't let this bring me down! I kept going... We got to his grandparents house and he was in a mood- everyone picked up on it as soon as he got out of the car. But I didn't let that stop me either. I played baseball with the kids (I know thanksgiving is a "football" holiday, but we're a "baseball" family, hehe), I helped his grandparents set things up for dinner, I talked with my husbands cousins & aunts & uncles... I had a GREAT time! I caught him GLARING at me one time while I was talking with his grnadmother and aunts... I don't know why, but I didn't really care either. He pretty much ate, slept and kept to himself all day. This was HIS family we were visiting & he made no effort to make it seem like he even WANTED to be there. I didn't mind. His grandfather and grandmother kept commenting on how there is something so different about me. They are heart broken about what is going on between us, but I told them not to worry. I had a great day! I had a lot of time to thank the Lord for my coutless blessings & I prayed for those less fortunate than I.

On our way home, my husband told me that this will be the last function we ever go to together. He said I annoyed him because I didn't leave the second our daughter got fussy like he wanted too & that I pushed him to take pictures when he didn't want to take (it was acctually his mom who was trying to get pics of him and his kids, I was only trying to hand our daughter to him for the picture, but whatever). Again he said I don't listen to him. I tried talking to my kids about the fun time they had and talking about what we were most thankful for & he yelled at us to shut up. He said he just wanted to drive home in silence. I didn't argue with him at all. In fact all I said was OK, when he was done griping. I continued to drive home & smiled the whole way home. I'm sorry, but I have waaaay too much to be thankful for and happy about to let him bring me down.

It's deffinately getting worse...we'll see if it gets better or not. God has brought me a peace I never thought was possible. He has filled me with more love than I ever knew. I can't stop smiling and humming because I am truly happy. And I know God will be there for me no matter what happens. He is so good to me, I don't know that I deserve it, but I'm sure glad that He loves me that much!!!

Dare 8

AaronGJackson — Sun, 17 Oct 2010 19:25:09 GMT

I woke up this morning, after a great deal of prayer last night and realized that exactly what Sean has been telling me is true. My primary commitment is to Christ. My commitment to my marriage is a small part of that total commitment. I read my Bible and prayed and headed to Church. After hearing some awesome preaching on wisdom and some powerful music, I left Church this morning with a strange feeling. I decided to let her go. I'm not filing for divorce or anything, but I cannot be so focused on her happiness that I forget my commitment to Christ. And that seems to be some of what has been happening for me. She came over and got our dog. We had lunch together and talked a little bit and laughed a bunch. It was nice and peaceful and calm and happy. I prayed before she got here that I would have the right words to say and would know the right actions to take. I felt God directing me towards some normal, everyday chat topics. It was one of the more pleasant times I've had with my bride in some time. She seems very interested in what is happening at my Church, which is odd to say the least.

I congratulated her for having the courage to come out with me last night and to hang out with some friends of mine that she has never felt particularly close to. I congratulated her for having the courage to get up on the floor and dance last night. She broke a date for this afternoon and we hung out for a while. I don't know what is happening in her head and heart, but maybe I don't need to. I think that the lesson I'm getting is to trust that God will finish the work he has begun and sometimes I need to get out of the way. I never thought of myself as particularly prideful, but can there be any greater pride than trying to tell God how to accomplish His work? I repented of this sin and am trusting God to do what He promised.

Today's sermon was on Proverbs 1 and one of the greatest messages I got was that a wise man loves you when you rebuke him and a fool will try to harm you in that case. Well, today, I have decided to practice wisdom in that area, so Sean, thank you for your rebuke. I needed it.