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Re: Day 8 Was roller coaster ride for me

Day 8 Was roller coaster ride for me

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  • Well, today started with me talking to her. Telling her my list of what makes me jealous. She just listened and said nothing. And we also talk about trying to save the marriage. I asked her to try to save it together for the kids. But her answer was still the same. She said she doesn’t feel the same for me. She fon’t have that feeling for me anymore. She said why try, just to prolong the agony. She also said “I’m not ready to try yet” and said she need space. So, I said I’m going out but I asked her if she is willing to go to church with me after I go for my confession at the church. I planned to bring my kids with me to the church so I asked her too if she will go with us. She did say yes but she cancelled our dinner on monday coz she said she’s going with me to church. I could take that. During the mass, offering of peace..she just snob me. She didn’t say peace be with you to me. I could still feel she’s angry at me. Then she went to the mall without us me and the kids. I guess to be alone. I could only pray that God will give strenght and patience to endure this trial. I’m still not giving up and never will. I hope one day she will find it in her heart to forgive me. 

  • was telling her what makes you jealous part of a dare?  If not, you are doing more than a dare a day and getting in her space.

    As far as her not offering you the sign of peace at Mass, do not worry about it.  Do not expect her to do anything.  She does not want to show you in any way that she is softening.  So she will not shake your hand or anything like that for now.

    After this, don't try to get her to talk about saving the marriage.  She isn't ready for that talk  and is just another way of getting in her space and this is also where she will want to show you she isn't softening by giving you an answer like she doesn't see the point of trying.

  • I understand. Well, today i know it’s not part of the dare but I always cook our breakfast, lunch and dinner. should I still do it? At least even if I don’t talk to her. I did greeted her with a lively good morning with the breakfast I prepared. She didn’t say anything but that’s fine. Seeing her eating the breakfast is good enough for me. Dare complete I guess. I will try to avoid talking talking to her to give her the space she wanted. She will be out later today anyway to study with a co-worker on their DPT. She might be home late tonight. I will wait for her and greet her again just to say how was the papers she doin if she’s done with it. Then say good night and sleep. Thanks for your time Tim.

  • It can get confusing at first in knowing what to do and not to do.  Keep doing the things you normally do.  Such as the cooking.  But, if you never do laundry or sweep the floor or those things, don't start doing them, unless it's for a dare.  If you do too much, it gets in there space.  And if you end up doing everything because she spends more and more time away, and because you want to show kindness, then she will start to feel she isn't needed.  You are welcome.

  • Ok. I do the cooking coz she don’t cook. Cleaning is her stuff except the bathroom I do it. Sometime I clean up the toys the kids play coz I want her to study right away specially on weekdays. I think there is still something left to clean when she arrives from work. Coz she still clean a little before she study. She left already to go to a friends house and then study later with the other friend. She goes to starbucks to study and I asked her but not oblidge her if she could get me my favorite Blueberry muffin..she gave me a weird face but when I told her she dont have to if she dont want’s ok..I said have fun whereever she maybe going and study hard later..if you need anything I’m here...

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