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Re: Some history...

Some history...

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  • Hey y'all...Not really sure why I came...I guess I'm just looking for some hope, guidance, answers, help, and prayer...A little bit of history- In a nutshell, our marriage is just like the movie 'Fireproof'...Except my time isn't invested in a boat, it was a car(my first one to be exact).  Married for 3 years, together for 8...Before marriage I cheated on her(don't ask me why, I never had ever cheated on anyone, why her?)  She said I didn't make her happy anymore.  Seema like everything is against me...everything that could possibly go wrong in a marriage, she says it is so...EX: She said we argue all the time, finacial woes, that I've put her on the back burner, ect, ect...Been separated now since May 10th, she can't file for divorce til mid-Nov(state regulations I guess...We had just moved to our home state...)  She lives 3 hours away from me, I was challenged to read the 'Love Dare'...So far I've read it 3 times on my fourth(a person just keeps learning every time I read it due to the state of mind at the time I've gone through it...) I have been shown so many things...But the hope I'm looking for- Has anyone ever been separated for any amount of time and made it work?

    She has said its over and if she needed anything from me, she would let me know, which would be mid-Nov.  I sent her some flowers today at work, the first contact I've made in over a month now...She refuses to talk to any couselors, I don't know if she has talked to anyone or not, but I sure know that she hasn't talked to me...She has stated that she just wants to move on without me, and that she is happier now...I'm prepared for the worst, but I try to keep hope, because I know how much marriage means to God(since He created it...) But my hope is wearing thin...I pray about her/our marriage constantly...It even went as far as someone telling me that I'm making an 'idol' out of the situation...I don't think that is the case since I know God has the highest regards for marriage, and I know that marriage is used for God's glory.

    But, can someone give me a little bit of hope...Who has been/is where I'm at?

    I don't know if I'm making any sense at all even...Will someone please talk to me?

    Troy-

  • Well, I don't really know how this post ended up on 'Day 8' but I guess it did...going to try to post it in its own space...ugh...

  • Welcome!  try posting under the journal section.  You will get more responses there.  Even if no one has had sucess it is still so worth doing this.  And many people have been sucessful.  It makes it more challenging to do the dares when you can't see her in person.  But there are advantages to, such as needing to depend more on God for help to do the dares.

    Keep Christ first in your life, way above your wife, and then I don't think you would need to worry about idolizing her.  

    Stick with this, do a dare a day, no more.  And you will find that this will become a journey between you and Christ, not you and your wife.  Leave her to Him.  and you take the time to grow in Hiim in prayer, etc.  

    Everything you are going through many people have been in your exact position.  And all these people, if they learned to place Christ first, and grow in Him, find His comfort, and come out of this in a better place than they began, regardless if the marrage was reconciled.  And yes, she has free wiill to choose what to do, but there is a good chance to that with your building a testimony for Christ that yoiur marriage can be healed.  But concern yourself with yoiur growth, and leave her in His more than capable hands.

  • There is always hope in Christ. The question is are you willing to do it Gids

    way and not yours?

    First, take the time to read from the cover of the book to day 1, but don't read

    day 1 yet. Then read in the appendix about leading the heart. Once you read

    that, take some time to pray about what you read. Then, start day 1. Only 1 dare

    a day, and do not manipulate the dares to accommodate you. Do them as they are

    intended, depending on Christ. There is purpose to each dare. Christ will mold

    you in His image through each, even if they are dares you know she will not like

    flip out whatever.

    If you cannot trust Christ you will continue on doing it your way, and as you

    can see, your way does not work. You are right God created marriage, but not for

    you to idolize your wife, but to become one with her, to love her as Christ

    loves the church.

    And since you have read the dares you will see that we have a jealous God and

    nothing should come before Him.

    And as for the best hope you can imagine. You were chosen for this journey....

    Christ brought you here for a reason my friend... Because He knows you are

    willing to be apart of His ill and not your own.  Also Tim is correct, start

    posting in the journal section. Much more daily response

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