Am I the only one who feels like lashing out? I plan to continue but all I want to do is scream because I feel like I am being trampled on. I understand that in all reality this is to teach me unconditional love and really make me more Christ like. Ok a little background... My husband and and I have been married 7 yrs. and together 11 yrs. I come from a decent family with wonderful parents and support, my husband comes from a broken family. His dad is in prison and his mother has tried to buy his love since then. Anyhow we have had a horrible 6 months. I have learned that my husband has been unfaithful many times in our journey together. He struggles with alcohol abuse and major anger issues. He is is in the army and we are stationed in Germany sO unfortunately my support system isn't anywhere close by. Last Thursday night he tells me that he is done and that we have tried and things aren't working out. So Friday morning I decide to try this love dare. I also recommitted my life to God in the process. Well things have been ok since but at times when he is drunk he has been very mean and verbally abusive. In the past when he was drunk he was physically abusive. Also I have heard and seen other questionable actions with other women who's husbands are deploying. Am I not suppose to say anything about this? I know that I cannot change him and his actions are between him and God but what about the hurt and pain its causing me? I feel like since I have starts this I am suppose to let all this meanness towards me pass and in all honesty all it's doing is tearing me apart inside. Please Help! I know that it's suppose to get hard before it gets easier and I go honestly believe that this is a change for me but I don't understand when it's ok to say I'm hurting or when I should just keep it all inside. I'm praying and praying but I don't feel the peace I believe I should be feeling.
Ok first. This journey is between you and Christ and your husband will be the tool Christ uses. And second, doing the dares is not only showing you unconditional love but how to love as Christ does. And when you can read the appendix, especially the section on leading the heart.
However, this does not mean to be a trampling pad. Now don't get me wrong, there are things that our own selfishness and pride will consider being stepped on, and we will justify it through what the world has taught us. But dealing with someone that h a problem with alcohol can be very dangerous. Especially in a country that is not their own. He too is suffering, and I am sure this is why Christ spchose you first for this journey, so that your testimony can be strong example.
But again, if there is a problem remember you are not God, so you cannot control him or the problem. There are programs and help at the base I am sure. Take advantage of them.