Day 46—Love is still not
“Choose today to react to tough
circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation.
Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your
schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from
One of the first things I do
when starting my journey entries for round 2 is look back at where I was on this
day in round 1. Well, this day during round 1 was what my pastor has deemed my “One
Day.” The day my life truly changed for Christ. The day I let go of all control.
The day I allowed God to really start His work in me without me standing in the
way. It was this day that I went to a place with Christ I’ve never been before.
My margins listed the first
round were to reduce the margin of control and increase the margin of quality
time with Christ. There has been definite growth in both areas and will
continue to be a work in progress. To add to this (God willing) is increased
margin of quality time with my husband. “Too often we throw caution to the wind
and run full steam ahead, doing what feels right at the moment. Soon we are
gasping for air, wound up in knots, and ready to snap. The increasing pressure
can wear away at our patience and our relationship.” One example of exactly
what happened in my marriage. I’ve learned slowing down and being in the moment
is so important in your day to day living—in your relationships with Christ and
Sean referenced that yesterday’s
entry is the situation described in his journal entry about ‘driving down the
road,’ so I went back to reread it. I have always been aware of my husband and
I being on different roads in this journey, but his illustration truly hits the
nail on the head (hope you don’t mind me sharing Sean)…
Think of it like this. You and your spouse are
driving down the road of life. Side by side (but different cars). God’s word is
the traffic laws, but you have been ignoring them, you speed, you go through
stop signs and red lights. Heck you even take some side roads to please your
own selfish nature. Now one day something happens, you look back and see your
spouse taking some side roads as well. It wakes you up, Heck they may get lost
ask for directions from someone else and even stop, sit down and have coffee
with someone else. Who knows what. The point is, you have just made a decision
to get back side by side. But they are miles behind. they have tried to stay up
with you, but would not run the lights etc... So you decide to learn the laws,
live the life. Now, you have a driver ed teacher in your passenger seat. You
are following all the rules. But your spouse is still miles behind.
Now you want to go back and get side by side.
But what you didn't realize is that all the roads ahead are one ways and roads
closed. Do you stop and wait. No way. Your driver ed teacher (by the way is
Christ, LOL). Say's be patient (day1) don't yell back to your spouse, don't be
negative, telling them to hurry up! Your teacher is basically telling you.
Allow me to teach you the way. And along this path, this journey I will teach
you to be more like me... And if that person is willing to accept me, we can
get you back on track...
Now even if you get side by side. This person,
your spouse, still has not made the decision to get that drivers ed teacher in
their car. So how the heck can they be expected to drive (love) as well as you?
This is a different kind of driving. And you can experience it because you have
made that choice. So, allow day 1 to always stick with you... BE PATIENT.
Now based on what you have learned. You will see
in time, that by you following all the laws, no road rage, you always giving
the right of way- your spouse will see a change in you. They will want that as well.
It will be your job to drive them to the DMV and get that drivers ed teacher in
their car as well. It is only at that time, you both will be in the same car, instead of at best, side
Yet again I am facing the need
of PATIENCE (when are we not?). I have such excitement in my heart right now—
just from the baby steps forward that I experienced with my husband yesterday. It
makes patience that more challenging and IMPORTANT. God is my provider—patience
being one of the many weaknesses I had for my spouse before I started this journey
that has since turned into what I believe now is a strength.
Thats what the journals are there for. I am just so blessed that they help others. That is my complete reason for my daily time here.