Day 46—Love is still not Irritable
“Choose today to react to tough circumstances in your marriage in loving ways instead of with irritation. Begin by making a list below of areas where you need to add margin to your schedule. Then list any wrong motivations that you need to release from your life.”
One of the first things I do when starting my journey entries for round 2 is look back at where I was on this day in round 1. Well, this day during round 1 was what my pastor has deemed my “One Day.” The day my life truly changed for Christ. The day I let go of all control. The day I allowed God to really start His work in me without me standing in the way. It was this day that I went to a place with Christ I’ve never been before.
My margins listed the first round were to reduce the margin of control and increase the margin of quality time with Christ. There has been definite growth in both areas and will continue to be a work in progress. To add to this (God willing) is increased margin of quality time with my husband. “Too often we throw caution to the wind and run full steam ahead, doing what feels right at the moment. Soon we are gasping for air, wound up in knots, and ready to snap. The increasing pressure can wear away at our patience and our relationship.” One example of exactly what happened in my marriage. I’ve learned slowing down and being in the moment is so important in your day to day living—in your relationships with Christ and your spouse.
Sean referenced that yesterday’s entry is the situation described in his journal entry about ‘driving down the road,’ so I went back to reread it. I have always been aware of my husband and I being on different roads in this journey, but his illustration truly hits the nail on the head (hope you don’t mind me sharing Sean)…
Think of it like this. You and your spouse are driving down the road of life. Side by side (but different cars). God’s word is the traffic laws, but you have been ignoring them, you speed, you go through stop signs and red lights. Heck you even take some side roads to please your own selfish nature. Now one day something happens, you look back and see your spouse taking some side roads as well. It wakes you up, Heck they may get lost ask for directions from someone else and even stop, sit down and have coffee with someone else. Who knows what. The point is, you have just made a decision to get back side by side. But they are miles behind. they have tried to stay up with you, but would not run the lights etc... So you decide to learn the laws, live the life. Now, you have a driver ed teacher in your passenger seat. You are following all the rules. But your spouse is still miles behind.
Now you want to go back and get side by side. But what you didn't realize is that all the roads ahead are one ways and roads closed. Do you stop and wait. No way. Your driver ed teacher (by the way is Christ, LOL). Say's be patient (day1) don't yell back to your spouse, don't be negative, telling them to hurry up! Your teacher is basically telling you. Allow me to teach you the way. And along this path, this journey I will teach you to be more like me... And if that person is willing to accept me, we can get you back on track...
Now even if you get side by side. This person, your spouse, still has not made the decision to get that drivers ed teacher in their car. So how the heck can they be expected to drive (love) as well as you? This is a different kind of driving. And you can experience it because you have made that choice. So, allow day 1 to always stick with you... BE PATIENT.
Now based on what you have learned. You will see in time, that by you following all the laws, no road rage, you always giving the right of way- your spouse will see a change in you. They will want that as well. It will be your job to drive them to the DMV and get that drivers ed teacher in their car as well. It is only at that time, you both will be in the same car, instead of at best, side by side....
Yet again I am facing the need of PATIENCE (when are we not?). I have such excitement in my heart right now— just from the baby steps forward that I experienced with my husband yesterday. It makes patience that more challenging and IMPORTANT. God is my provider—patience being one of the many weaknesses I had for my spouse before I started this journey that has since turned into what I believe now is a strength.
Thats what the journals are there for. I am just so blessed that they help others. That is my complete reason for my daily time here.