The day started out really good. I went to the 8:30 service in which we started studying the 10 commandments. I prayed for God to fill my heart with Love, Understanding and wisdom, but especially patience. Who would of thought I was going to be tested, and I failed miserably. Today was supposed to be about my daughter, she graduated from high school and she has made us very proud. Everything was fine until we all met for brunch before her graduation. Everyone kept coming up to me hugging me and asking me if I was alright. Some family members, her uncles, were saying if you want to talk I'm here, you need to protect yourself. I love you both but I am on your side. I'm thinking this is already starting, people are taking sides to what war over our marriage. Then I started thinking about how this could be our last function as a family. It really started to hurt bad. I calmed myself but it seemed like everywhere I turned I was being reminded of how things may turn out. Not to mention my wife is ready to tell my son as tomorrow. Even the speakers kept taking about "Follow Your Heart", I know and you know that is wrong. Other than that the graduation went great, she looked so happy and beautiful. I was able to get close enough to the stage to video her receiving her diploma. Next came the ride home. Me, my wife and both my daughter and son drove home and a 30 min drive took 2 ½ hrs. Memorial day weekend and it seemed everything on the radio talked about leaving, divorce, etc. I felt like I was being tortured. I tried to keep my composure but it was to much. My head was spinning like a top. I even made little comments about the music under my breath and I feel I let everyone down. This by far was the worse day I had since I started the Dares over 45 days ago. Of course when I got home I received the third degree from my wife. I apologized and tried to explain the pain I was feeling, but also said I should have been a bigger man and I’m sorry I wasn’t. I’m am truly sorry I have let everyone down. I thought I could handle it. I just lost sight of everything I had learned over the past month and a half. I really wasn't being a good witness or the spiritual leader I needed to be.
The day started out really good. I went to the 8:30 service in which we started studying the 10 commandments. I prayed for God to fill my heart with Love, Understanding and wisdom, but especially patience. Who would of thought I was going to be tested, and I failed miserably.
Today was supposed to be about my daughter, she graduated from high school and she has made us very proud. Everything was fine until we all met for brunch before her graduation. Everyone kept coming up to me hugging me and asking me if I was alright. Some family members, her uncles, were saying if you want to talk I'm here, you need to protect yourself. I love you both but I am on your side. I'm thinking this is already starting, people are taking sides to what war over our marriage. Then I started thinking about how this could be our last function as a family. It really started to hurt bad. I calmed myself but it seemed like everywhere I turned I was being reminded of how things may turn out. Not to mention my wife is ready to tell my son as tomorrow. Even the speakers kept taking about "Follow Your Heart", I know and you know that is wrong.
Other than that the graduation went great, she looked so happy and beautiful. I was able to get close enough to the stage to video her receiving her diploma. Next came the ride home. Me, my wife and both my daughter and son drove home and a 30 min drive took 2 ½ hrs. Memorial day weekend and it seemed everything on the radio talked about leaving, divorce, etc. I felt like I was being tortured. I tried to keep my composure but it was to much. My head was spinning like a top. I even made little comments about the music under my breath and I feel I let everyone down. This by far was the worse day I had since I started the Dares over 45 days ago. Of course when I got home I received the third degree from my wife. I apologized and tried to explain the pain I was feeling, but also said I should have been a bigger man and I’m sorry I wasn’t. I’m am truly sorry I have let everyone down. I thought I could handle it. I just lost sight of everything I had learned over the past month and a half. I really wasn't being a good witness or the spiritual leader I needed to be.
It is times like these that you must allow God to carry you. The power of prayer will get you comfort.
The thief comes to steal, kill and destroy. In this situation, it may be to steal your joy, kill your marriage and destroy your resolve to fight. Maybe you weren't who you needed to be before, but in the last 6 weeks you have come a long way. Healing the wounds takes time, and some seem as though they are never healed.
Leslie Holmes
Community Builder