Collaborate without boundaries

Re: Day 6 don't be stressed or irritated?

Day 6 don't be stressed or irritated?

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  •  I have started the love Dare book with my husband and so far I have enjoyed it a lot. I think it is really helped us, but today I was really disappointed with the chapter. They made it seem that every stressful situation is your own fault. That you put yourself in a situation that makes you stressed and that all you have to do is just unthink it and it'll go away.  This last year is been one of the hardest years for me and my husband, and we have recently had some very hard things happen to us that are completely out of our control. And yes it is very stressful, and there is really no one that we can blame, it is hard not to take it out on each other. We understand that it is neither of our faults and we're trying to get through it together. But I highly resent the fact  that in this book it makes it seem that all stressful irritations come mearly from our own selves.  And doesn't show us how we should try and put those things aside even when they're not our fault I feel this is a very big oversight. Questioning whether I should keep reading this if they're going to keep putting blame on people and not on the world and the things that happen in it. 

  • Welcome.  First off, you may be reading this book for different reasons most do.  Most have problems in the marriage not necessarily due to outside circumstances like you seem to have.  Most of us can blame the problems on how we treat our spouses.

    However, why blame him if the situation is not in his control?  Is that showing unconditional love?  The book is designed to teach you to love as Christ loves you.  

    I have never seen anyone make the point you are making.  This isn't me saying you are in the wrong at all.  That's not what i am thinking.  

    If it's circumstances that are making the marriage difficult, this book should teach you to grow in Christ and thus be able to show love better to him.

    Most do this on their own, and not with the spouse.  Doing it together can create expectations of what the other will do and feelings of dissapointment he doesn't meet your expectations.

    I would suggest writing this in the love dare journal section under the community tab.  You may get other responses from others there.  The section you found is rarely read.

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