WOW major breakthrough today. The day started out pretty awful, things have been volitale. My husband was very agitated, overwheled, stressed and I wasn't sure it was just a show to have an excuse to see the other woman today at this cancer fundraiser or if he was truly overwhelmed. He claimed he needed to go to work. I was trying to control the situation by telling him I really needed him to spend the day with me and not go anywhere. We argued and he questioned if something else was going on and if I was trying to control him. I decided to be honest and tell him what I was doing and why. He was upset but I told him to just go and do what he needed to do. I knew I had no control and he was gonig to do whatever he was gonig to do regardless. So even if I made him stay home with me today he could still see her tomorrow or whenever. I went to get some food and do a little shopping. Normally I would feel extremely anxious and want to follow him or go check on him BUT I did not. I decided to just love him. I felt GOD's peace and grace! Something I have not felt all this year until that very moment. Was I worried he was with the other woman. Yes BUT I can't control him. He did call me and suggest we go to the fundraiseer so I could see that things were over. I declined because I did not think that would prove anything to me and I had no interest in seeing this other woman. SO I ended up finding out he did see the other woman at this annual cancer fundraiser. I spoke to this woman and said very nasty things to her. I was so angry and hurt so of course I felt justifed. She apologized and said she would not contact my husband anymore. OK well I will need to pray about that. I know I did not have the right to call her names I was so angry. I think perhaps I will get to a space where I will apologize to her for calling her names and let her know I forgive her and will continue to pray for her. I know that forgivness will benefit me. So normally I would lash out and go crazy and scream and yell and swear at my husband. I did not do that this time. GOD's grace at work again. We were finally able to have a converstation about the entire affiar. The good, the bad, the ugly. The amazing thing that happened was he said he felt at peace today because I was able to get go of my insecurity and just trust him. Something he had been longing for our whole marriage and I had never given him. He said this act melted the hate he had for me that has built up over the years. I find it amazing we both had the same peace. I have been praying for God's will in our lives and the wisdom to understand it. It happened today! We were able to talk in a way that we have not ever been able to do. He has honest in a way that he has never been before. Am I still hurt that he has not ended his affair. Yes BUT what I was able to experience from GOD today will help me to continue on this journey. I thank GOD for his unconditoinal LOVE. There is nothing greater.
I texted the other woman. Apologizing for calling her name and going off on her. Told her I appreciate her calling to apologize since she did not have to. Said I need to forgive her and my husband so I can move on with my life. Told her I pray God will give her what she needs and happiness. I feel relief doing this. I'm at peace. I know it was the right thing to do. I wish I could have been more calm when I spoke to her but I was so full of anger, hate and hurt. I am amazed at what God is helping me do each and every minute. I am so blessed to have this Love!
God is opening a number of doors for you.
In the beginning you see that trying to control gets you no where. But here is the most important thing you must ingrain into your head. BE QUICK TO LISTEN, AND SLOW TO SPEAK....
Allow Him the ability to talk. Be honest.
Christ put you on this journey for a reason. He put you on it first for a reason. And one thing I know for sure. Christ has put all of us on this journey for a common reason. To be a testimony! That is what you are going to need to be to your husband.
Sean.... you said allow him the ability to talk. be honest. Who is him? My husband? GOD. I got confused sorry. Yes I am realizing that this particular dare had a huge impact on our marriage. I also think it's God's will too since I have been praying for that.
I have always believed everything happens for a reason. It's just so hard when there is so much hurt and pain involved. I wish it would dissipate some. I pray to GOD that I am giving him the hurt and pain to take care of cuz I can't do it anymore. I don't want to be stuck in that negativity. I want to continue to have peace.
Your husband. Remember quick to listen and slow to speak!
I am not sure if you meant it this way.. But you said- I also think it's God's will too since I have been praying for that. --- Gods will is not based on your prayers or your desires. It is our job to accept His will for us, not Him accepting ours......
It will dissipate. The more you trust Christ the more you depend on Him.... Until you have that ability, He must find ways to humble you, to mold you... Without that pain, you would never have started this journey. I am sure He has tried in the past, but the more we chose to ignore Him the more He allows us to screw it up on our own!
OK yes I just need to be quiet and listen. Yes I meant I was praying for GOD's will and I believe everything that is happening is apart of his divine will for me and my life.
I need to put all my trust in Christ because I cannot trust my husband right now. I hope one day I can again. I just wish the lies, deception and everything else would stop. It makes it all the more difficult but I suppose it wasn't meant to be easy. The Love Dare is such a blessed gift. I thank GOD for it and for you and all your wisdom and support.
You have to put all your trust in Christ not because you cannot trust your husband right now, but because Christ is the only one that will never betray it!
Ok Sean. I will put EVERYTHING I have in Christ! I know only HE can provide me with everything I need. That's pretty incredible!
You have no idea...
But you will come to find, your desires for happiness and comfort are much smaller than what the world makes you believe.
Sean....not sure I understand this but I'm gonna take a stab at it. The world makes us believe we should be happy and comfortable and we rely on worldly things for that. BUT what we are missing is we need to only rely on GOD for everything and anything and our needs will be fulfilled. Hope I am close.
When you live "in the world"... It is money, houses, material items, and even the comfort of relationships.
But when you live in Christ. Your needs are always provided for. You take your focus away from all that worldly crap. You find happiness in Christ no matter what it is.
The world is not so important anymore. It is amazing.
Aaah what the world tells us we need and what we really need which Christ can give us are not exactly the same thing. Never thought about it quite like that. Now that is amazing.
Not even close. Anything and everything that God has blessed us with the world taints for its own.