Collaborate without boundaries

Day5: Round 2

Day5: Round 2

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  • Well, I am new here but this is my second time through. A little background...

     

    My wife asked me for a separation on September 5th of 2015. We slept together, in the same bed only, for about a week and she said she could not do that anymore. She slept on the couch two nights and I then told her it felt wrong of me to sleep in our bed so I asked her to take the bed and I would take the couch. October 11th she took her ring off and a few days later we agreed I would stay with my folks for awhile. A lot has changed over these past months...I have stopped drinking all together and am now sober for 4 1/2 months, we both have been doing things to fix ourselves in the form of groups or reading. We have gone a few times to couples counseling...mostly to learn how to talk and get along...she wants this for the kids sake and I want it for our marriage. On January 15th she told me she was done. Two weeks later she told me she saw a lawyer to explore her options. A week later dissolution paperwork showed up at the house that we have yet to go over.

     

    I have made a lot of mistakes over the years and this snuck up on me, but has been going on for quite some time in her mind. That is why this is all so hard...I did not take the time to listen, seek her needs or prioritize her in my life...she felt as if we were roommates instead of lifemates. So here I am...

     

    The first round was at times a chore. Not knowing how she would react to certain dares or thinking myself out of my initial approach for fear. Towards the end of round one I started getting closer God and Christ. I am actually enjoying going to church and praying when ever I feel like it. Now, this still has not changed my wife, but this time through I have realized I can't change her...I need to let Him work and love her because it is what He wants and desires for me.

     

    Anyways, I have found a renewed sense of hope and trust in the Lord...that was and remains hard at times, but it is getting to be a part of me instead of forcing myself. One step at a time...one dare a day...letting him work instead of seeking her!

  • You are figuring this out, that it's a journey between you and Christ, not you and your wife.  She will be used as a tool to mold you so you learn to love as Christ loves.  As you said, just do a dare a day, no more, no less. This will give her the space she needs and remember God is never late.  She has free will, but pray that she has Christ's will done in her life.

    Welcome to the site.  you will have more people read your entries if you can post under the community tab, in the love dare journal link.

    Do not worry about her reactions to the dares.  have no expectations to waht whe will say or do when you do a dare.  And keep in mind it usually gets worse before it gets better.

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