I wasn't able to ask him that irritated him most because when he finally came home he wanted to tell me all about his feelings for the other woman. He says although there nothing physical at this time he wants me to know how deeply he feels for her and how he really thinks he cant find the wow factor in her that he had never had for me. It didn't seem the appropriate time to be asking my dare question.
I feel so lost He thinks that i just want to keep this marriage going because its comfortable and easier, and that it would make no difference to me if we were "in love" or not. Somethimes I think this is so untrue I do not want to be married and just get by, In the past yes i have been willing to live that way, but now i have a deep desire/need to be in love with my spouse, and no i i dont want to be married to him if i can't find that deep sense of love that a husband and wife should have. I'm just so confused. I know the bible says if we trust and obey god he will give us the desires of our heart. I don't even know what that is anymore. I guess i should trust that god knows what my true desires are and know whats best for me even when i don't. I know that should calm me but it so hard to let go and let him take control.
I am so sorry sissy that you have to experience this heartbreak, but I can somewhat relate. I am sort of going through that myself (wanting my husband to be in love.) I have only been married one year, and five months into it my husband confesses that "he regrets" getting married to me, that he should've married a Catholic woman and not a Christian woman. It hurt a lot and then he told me that he didn't mean it the way it sounded. I am truly trying to keep this marriage going, but that comment is engraved in my memory. I am like you; I do not want a marriage "just to get by," I want my husband to cherish me and be deeply in love with (by demonstrating it-not just saying it.)
God does know our desires and most definitely he is in control. Lift up your marriage to Him and ask for guidance, patience and strength. I agree it is very difficult to let go and let God, but it's not impossible. God bless you. You and your marriage will be in my prayers.
Thank you - It's been almost 20 years now and we have both known for a long time there was no spark we've just been best friends. We vowed early in our marriage to not divorce because weve both been through it before. But now he says he has tried so many times he can't do it anymore. The problem has always been one would try for a short period of time and if we didn't see immediate results we would give up. I really don't need the other woman helping to provide the spark to the fire I'm trying to lite.
Let Go and let God, I'm seriously trying
Sissy, that is common where one would try and give up.
You are on day 5. Take each and everyone of these dares to the point that you can understand where you will make changes in your life and practice it daily. Remember this is a journey that is between you and Christ. This is for you to get to know Him better, to love like Him.... As each day goes on, you pray for wisdom, and He will give it to you. Each thing that goes on with your spouse consider it a blessing of a lesson Christ is teaching you. Be it, humbling your self, Handling it in a Christ-like manner, whatever the case may be.
I assure as you go on, the more you will learn how to let the Lord lead, and take control. We are all experts at asking, now this journey is time to become and expert at listening.... You can do this. And I promise each day Christ will work on him as well.
Thanky you sean , i was listening to christian radio this morning where they were talking about this same subject of giving up control and the amazing things God can do if we let him. I admit i am amazed that i have been able to handle this situation with as much peace as i have. I know if I give it fully to God any stress i have will be relieved by the knowledge that its his and not mine to take care of. I continue to pray for the strength and wisdom neeed to go on.