Okay, so I noticed a change in Bethany yesterday. She communicated with me through texting, she shared with me some things she had seen in herself that she did not like. I ended up buying dinner for all of of us on the way home, we ate together and we shared a little. She had a sparkle in her eye, one that I know very well. She was having a good day. We hugged a couple times and she asked me why I enjoy hugging. I did the same, she said, "I like hugs..." I then asked, "do you like my hugs?", she said, "am I not supposed to..." later on, after the kids went to bed we spoke on the couch. she allowed me to sit next her and I tried to snuggle and she let me... a little. We spoke and gave a few hugs and held hands. She shared with me that it felt awkward. I prayed with her and we cried, and held some more and shared some very old feelings, dating back to before and right after our marriage. How when we had broken up prior to our marriage that I was so in love with her and then I was not as much in love with her when we first got married. This made her very upset and she asked me to leave her be. I appologized to her and I cried and went to bed praying. I ended up sending her a text later that night/morning telling her that I love her more than anything now. I also went down to her and told her. I didn't sleep much after that. I spoke to her in the morning and she told me that she shared with her sister what I had said and her sister said that I was lying about not loving her as much, right when we got married.... I am so hurt. I pray that God will guide us, I'm putting it in his hands. Later on this morning I wrote some poems, to shar with her later. then I sent her my day 5 questions. I have not heard back from her yet... Tomorrow is a new day!
Day 5... You are still at the beginning. There is so much you will learn over the next couple days and weeks.
Right now for example. You love her more than anything. Soon, there will be someone else you will love more than her. But to love this person more than her will allow you to love her better.
It was not that you loved her more before you got married. It is just when you married her, you stopped investing in her. You stopped studying her. You won the prize. You challenge was over. Marriage is hard work.
Like when you were in school. To get a good grade is not hard. Study and you get it. Keeping it is the hard part.
Be careful of the talks you have with her right now. In fact, it will be huge for you to keep a journal of each day. Because as you learn you can go back and see where you manipulate, control, etc... Your dares are so important. That is you communication of love at the moment.
If you have not seen the movie fireproof. You need to. It is based on the love dare....
What do you mean by "being careful of the talks you have right now?" I am questioning because my husband and I are separated, but we talk frequently via texting and sometimes on the phone and in person. Up until I started the dares (just 5 days in) it almost always ended badly, but now I am desperately trying to keep it positive no matter what and chose to say nothing instead of sayng something negative. I am worried about saying the wrong thing or pushing something too far with him, so it's like I am over analyzing every move and it is very stressful....
He too is questioning my every move, my every word, and asks why am I doing these nice things all of a sudden? A friend suggested that I try to limit our contact except for doing the dares but that seems counterproductive, especially if my husband asks to see me or do something with me. The few times he's asked and I couldn't go because I had already made other plans he got very mad and jealous, and the accusations started.
Being careful... The more you talk the more chance of being manipulative or getting angry saying something negative.
He will question everything. Remember you are a testimony to what Christ is doing in your life. And HE WILL.... Do everything he can to bring you down, to make you fall. He will test everything just to see how "fake" it is.
I agree with the friend. Right now these dares are your journey to love Christ. Love Christ first and you will be able to love your husband better. And with him being of the flesh, those jealous feelings will bring him down a step. It will help remove the control he has.