I called him before picking the kids up for church. I asked if we could please chat after I dropped them off. I don't really go in the house anymore, so I asked if he would come out when I brought them back from church. He agreed to come out and chat. We made small talk, etc. Finally he asked me what it was I needed to speak with him about; I was so nervous that I was almost sick. I had been praying over how to say it so that it would be received well. I said, can you tell me a few areas that you would like to see me work on so I can be a better person. He quickly told me that he was not doing this, that he was not discussing us right now, and that if he told me three things then he would have to tell me 4,5, 6, 7, 8, 9, and 10! This hurt my feelings so bad. Normally I would sort of go off on him and tell him how he was hurting my feeling's, but I did not. I chose to be patient and let him say what he wanted to say. After he made the comment about the 10 things, he said good-bye and he walked off and went inside. I would truly normally call out his name and make a fuss; but I did not. I am so thankful that I prayed and that God made me be patient. I was so very sad. I left and went home. I pretty much cried and questioned God all the way home. I desire to be made new and have my family back together.
I so wish he would go to church with us again-but he wants no part of God.
I checked my bb when I got home and he had sent me an email. He told me that he was sorry, that he just couldn’t talk about us and that he did not want to be mean. I replied and thanked him, told him I just want to get better and that we both need to heal. We chatted a little throughout the day-mostly about nothing, but it was good to be communicating.
I went back later in the evening to pick up the kids for a friend’s Thanksgiving dinner we were going to. I had made dressing (stuffing) and a chocolate cake, so I took him some of each. He later sent me an email and told me he appreciated it because he had not planned dinner. He also said, you have to stop this. That was in email so I don’t know if he meant it in a cute way or in a way like I have a gf, you need to stop. I guess time will tell.
Praise God for the strength to be patient. He is working within you. And I promise He is working with your spouse as well.
God desires with you what you desire with your family. Remember that.
Work on getting right with God and making Him first. Everything else will follow.