I will be doing dare 5 tonight. I am not strong again today. The last few days I was doing good, not texting or calling my husband, he texted me on both days to say he wanted to come see the baby but I did not answer one day, and the next I answered but said I was busy. Today I woke up feeling sad and overwhelmed and I called him to ask why he hasn't been talking to me or checking in on us, and he said he assumed we were fine. He said he was going to come over after work to see the baby. I texted him a little while after and asked if we could talk tonight, and he said No, I reminded him that he said we could talk when I wanted just not everyday, and that I hadn't really talked to him about anything since Saturday, and he said I could talk when he came to see the baby. I find myself very frustrated today, I am very short with the baby and having crying spells. I feel like my life is going downhill and it will never get better. I just want my husband to come home, I don't understand why I am not worthy of a chance. If he messed up I would give him a chance, I wouldn't even think twice about it. I didn't intentionally control him or boss him around I just did it, I didn't know it was such an issue that he was thinking about leaving me. I don't know what I am to do to get a chance again. It's been a little over 2 weeks and I am so worried that the longer this goes on the less he will think about coming home. How does doing these dares get him to come home? The dares don't affect him so he says so if I am doing all of this and he doesn't care than how do things change? I am so lost.
First of all. These dares are not about you and your husband. They are about you and Christ. Do your dares daily. And make that the only contact with your husband. If he rejects them, then fine. Humble yourself as Christ would do, and move on and look forward to what tomorrow brings.
In most cases. The others think the changes that will happen are a scam. And rightfully so. It is only by the grace of God that we can truly change and that change will show through everything we do. It will actually be a testimony for Christ.
For example, when you asked to talk and he said no, you bullied it to being your way. Maybe not obvious to you, but it is so second nature, it happened. I know what you are thinking. "He said we could talk". again, worry about yourself and your journey right now. Study these dares. I am sure they mean more than you are thinking. Don't just read them and do them. Really look at everything in and around your life and how these things play out.
You asked about what to do to get another chance. You are doing it. But now, is selfishness still going to control the situation?
These dares are not supposed to effect him, THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO EFFECT YOU........ And when they do, and come from a pure and right heart, then he will see that.
This is probably the hardest thing you will ever do. But the rewards are the greatest there are.
We got in a huge fight last night and he said he was not coming back again. The way he was looking at me and speaking to me was with such disgust... I don't even know who he is anymore when I look at him. It's like he is a completely different person. I don't know what else to do. I still haven't done dare 5, I do NOT want to speak to him at all. Can I pass dare 5 and move on to the next which I know is something I do myself? Or do I have to do dare 5? I am so fed up with him that I don't even know if I want to try to save our marriage now. I don't know if I could look at him the same again after last night. I am so angry with him and the way he is treating me, he is treating me as if I cheated on him and he just found out and is repelled by me. Which isn't the case at all. He told me numerous times last night that it was over and he was not coming home ever, and that he wants NOTHING to do with me. My mother thinks he is trying to get me to hate him so I will move on quicker. I don't know what to do now.
Ok so I called him early this afternoon to talk about last night, and he seemed cool and calm so I asked if he was coming to watch the baby tonight and he said yes and asked when he should come over, then we talked about last night and agreed that I won't talk about us and our situation anymore and he won't be mean, we will be civil and friendly to eachother. He still said he didn't want to come home but I told him that I love him and want him to come home still and he said he knows, and I explained that I now know that trying to talk him into coming home and crying and such isn't going to work this time, that I will just have to show him. He said he will try to converse with me more about everyday things since usually we just sit here and he doesn't talk or acknowledge me really. So basically we're just going to hang out with the baby and not talk about our issues since everything I say doesn't affect him, I will just have to change and let him see! So I will do dare 5 if I get the chance tonight but since we said we wouldn't talk about that stuff I am kind of scared to already... I might skip it since I know what he will say anyways, that I am controlling, don't show appreciation, and I don't care what he wants. I still have high hopes that he will come back to us even though he says he won't which I understand why he doesn't want to right now and believes he isn't going to, but I will trust in god to help us out and be strong and hopefully it all will work out even if it takes a little bit of time!
First, remember. This is about you and Christ. The dares will allow Christ to mold you in ways He wants you to be.
Second, to trust in Christ, you really NEED to quit trying to do things your way. It does not work. Hence the situation you are in, and the blow up last night.
Now, what do you have to lose with doing the dares? You will not be in any worse situation. And by doing them, you are saying Lord, I trust what you need me to do.
Even if you think you know what he is going to say, DO IT ANYWAY. That means you will humble yourself to do it trusting in Christ.
Things will get bad, but in my experience the bad is what humbled me in the long run. But the more you trust Christ and praise Him for the blessings He does show, the more that will come.